Here it is then: 'Pie Face'. A great lump of carbohydrate tickled by mushy peas.
See also: The world's most expensive dishes
On top of the pie is a layer of mushy peas. Inside the pastry is steak. Next to it all is a great jug of gravy, which looks suitably thick, and has a pleasing sheen.
The whole thing costs a staggeringly reasonable £3. In London, it would cost three times that. And the muffin would be brioche, probably. The peas would be definitely be debauched by mint.
Pie Face is the work of The New Cake and Sandwich Shop in Hyde, Greater Manchester. The place is a small café and bakery.
Our sister title MEN has made a point of wondering whether the muffin should be called a 'barm cake' – a soft bap of sorts popular in the North West. It's the Poke that has described the sarnie as the "most northern" ever crafted.
Café co-owner Samantha Mitchell said: "Since last year, myself and my husband Garry Mitchell decided to do a weekly and an alternative (sometimes weird) sandwich calling it 'sandwich of the week'.
"I do prefer the bizarre sandwiches and I'd heard of the Wigan kebab but decided to give it a twist – so I decided with the chips and mushy peas.
"Customers reactions have been fantastic. Obviously it's not everyone's choice... it's great to know we're doing something right ."
Since posting the dish on Facebook, locals have been heaping praise on what is an impressive achievement. A handful have found it a touch disquieting, too much to take. But by and large, the reviews have been solid.
Customer Andy Lockett, who's already tried Pie Face, said: "The Pie Face was everything I hoped it'd be. The best butty I've ever had!"
While Paul Gardiner, who's planning to head over the Hyde soon, wrote: "I've seen nothing better."
Is it better than the Yorkshire pudding pizza, which caught our attention earlier this month?
Head to the the The New Cake and Sandwich Shop at 11 Bennett Street to get your hands on the Pie Face.