Passenger's hilarious Ryanair Facebook rant goes viral

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A Ryanair passenger has launched a Facebook attack on the airline after he missed his own wedding reception.

James Lockley, from Hertfordshire, and his new bride missed their flight from London Stansted to Slovakia, where his wife's family had gathered for a wedding reception.

He then took to Facebook for a rant that has now gone viral.

The couple arrived in a rush at the airport an hour before the flight after a nightmare journey stuck in traffic. They were assured they had plenty of time and were taken to a check-in attendant.

But it all started going wrong from there.

"We approached the attendant as instructed and explained. Unfortunately, in the main part, due to him being a child, and forgetting to bring his mother to work, he heard only half of the words before his brain fell apart like a wet cake.

"He led us to the line for closing gates, advised we should wait and all would be ok. We stood patiently in the line for 20 minutes. We got to the front of the line and the lady, who we shall from this point refer to a Vacant, explained that she had literally just that second closed the flight and we had missed it.

"We complained that we had done as instructed and she said it was the child's fault because he should have advised her that we were trying to board a closing flight and that because he hadn't told her it was therefore our fault we had missed the plane.

"Confused by this process of blame apportioning, another check in clerk, who we shall refer to as Not That Bright, tried to blame us for not responding to the last call for the flight as we should have made ourselves known. I argued that the last call had not been made. Not That Bright then questioned Vacant on whether she had done a final call.

"Vacant did what she does best and looked, well,...... After establishing that the child had not informed Vacant we were here, and Vacant had forgotten to do a last call and that all of this was irreversible, and my fault, Not That Bright and Vacant conferred to agree this was not a problem they wished to deal with and told us to get in a very, very long line of very, very unhappy people at the quite wrongly titled 'Customer Services Counter' as it was in fact a Customer Shouting Desk. We complained and requested the attention of a manager."


A manager, (referred to as "Middle Gimp"), then came to see them and proceeded to answer everything with "Check in opens three hours before the flight".

Mr Lockley then made jokes about this repeated phrase on Facebook, writing: "Do you acknowledge we have just cause for complaint as we tried to do the right thing and the only reason we are not on the plane is because of communication failures with Ryan Air Staff?'

'"Check in opens three hours before the flight."

"What colour are my trousers?"

"Check in opens three hours before the flight."

"Do you think economic sanctions on Russia will diffuse the escalating situation in Ukraine?"

'"Check in opens three hours before the flight."

"Were Man Utd right to fire David Moyes?"

"Check in opens three hours before the flight."

He continued with his hilarious Facebook rant, and said that in the end they had to pay £384 to book a hotel and fly out the next day.

Mr Lockley added that Ryanair "cost us money and made us miss our own wedding reception through a display of incompetence I have not seen since Greece was allowed to have money and a cheque book."

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