Alex Scott says she is smiling again after learning to cope with online abuse

Former England international Alex Scott said she turned to alcohol in response to social media abuse before seeking therapy.

The 35-year-old was the victim of online trolls when she retired from playing and moved into punditry with the BBC and Sky.

"When I retired, getting trolling, I found that I was turning to drink to try and hide everything, hide what I was feeling," she said.

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*Embargoed until 06:00 - 22 Apr 2020* File photo dated 26-12-2019 of Match commentator Alex Scott.
Alex Scott attending a press night for Message in a Bottle at the Peacock Theatre in London (Photo by Brett Cove / SOPA Images/Sipa USA)
Alex Scott and Neil Jones attending a Photocall ahead of the first night of the Strictly Come Dancing Live Tour 2020 at Arena Birmingham. (Photo by Brett Cove / SOPA Images/Sipa USA)
Alex Scott and Neil Jones during rehearsals for Strictly Come Dancing in London.
Alex Scott at the Strictly Come Dancing Launch at BBC Broadcasting House in London. (Photo by Keith Mayhew / SOPA Images/Sipa USA)
Alex Scott attending the Virgin Media BAFTA TV awards, held at the Royal Festival Hall in London. Photo credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS
England's Alex Scott poses for a photograph with the SSE Women's FA Cup during the England Women training session at St George's Park, Burton. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday April 5, 2016. See PA story SOCCER England Women. Photo credit should read: Nick Potts/PA Wire. RESTRICTIONS: Use subject to FA restrictions. Editorial use only. Commercial use only with prior written consent of the FA. No editing except cropping. Call +44 (0)1158 447447 or see for full restrictions and further information.
England's Alex Scott during the FIFA Women's World Cup Canada 2015 Group F match between France and England at Moncton Stadium in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada.
Arsenal's Alex Scott
Arsenal's Alex Scott celebrates with the trophy after the game

"I didn't tell anyone, I didn't tell my mum because I didn't want her to worry or put that stress on her. I was just that person (who thought) 'I can look after myself, I can deal with stuff' but obviously sometimes that's the wrong way.

"I got to a dark place and it was over Christmas, that's when I was like 'I can't carry on like this, it's not me, I need to seek help' and that led me into therapy."

Scott was speaking to Watford captain Troy Deeney as part of the Heads Up campaign's #SoundofSupport series about her struggles. The campaign seeks to encourage football fans to feel confident and comfortable in reaching out for mental health support if they need it.

Scott added: "I want to take that stigma away from it. Now when I talk about mental health, straight away I'm smiling because I know what it's done for me to leave that place. I'm content. I'm happy, and I've used the tools that I've learned to be in that place."

Deeney, who served a prison sentence for affray in 2012, told Scott he receives therapy to combat his own drinking, and for traumas he suffered earlier in his life.

"I understood that when I started speaking I slept easier," he said.

Watford captain Troy Deeney has spoken openly about the therapy he receives
Watford captain Troy Deeney has spoken openly about the therapy he receives (Handout/Heads Up)

"I used to live on four hours' sleep. When I have a therapy session I'll sleep for 10 hours, because I'm knackered, but it's all the weight coming out of me."

In a separate conversation, former England defender Rio Ferdinand and current England rugby captain Owen Farrell discussed the differing attitudes towards opening up that they encountered.

Ferdinand, who retired in 2015 and broke into professional football in the late 1990s, said sharing concerns when he was playing would have been interpreted as weakness.

"The shirt was a heavy shirt when I played for England," he said.

"More so than Man United... In my generation, (we'd) never go into a room on our own, sit there and go 'Guys, listen, cup final tomorrow, I'm so nervous'.

Rio Ferdinand admits playing for England was often a big weight to bear mentally
Rio Ferdinand admits playing for England was often a big weight to bear mentally (Anthony Devlin/PA)

"Because everyone would sit there and go 'What?'. And almost you'd look at him to say 'He's a weak link, he's going to be a nightmare tomorrow for us'. Now looking back, I think 'maybe I could have helped a few people through'."

Farrell said now there was more encouragement to share thoughts and fears.

"We always have a chat the night before... just players, and I enjoy them," he said.

"The main thing for us is to speak what we are thinking. And if that's something that makes you a bit more vulnerable then that's good. Because if you're thinking it, I'd probably think a few more are as well."

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