How to watch sport literally all through Boxing Day
Christmas Day usually consists of copious amounts of food, lots of telly, and whining: "Oh hasn't it gone quickly this year?"
So come Boxing Day, you're in no mood to do more than shuffle with a slovenly gait to the fridge and back. Have no fear, it is indeed possible to watch sporting action ALL day on Boxing Day. Just about.
So pay attention, this is crucial.
Cricket: 21:55 (Christmas Day) to 07:00 (Boxing Day)
We begin late on Christmas day, at 21:55 to be exact. The Celebrations are all gone bar the Bountys, so here begins cricket's leg in this disgustingly lazy relay - it all starts with New Zealand taking on Bangladesh in a one-day international.
The combination of Kiwi entertainers Kane Williamson, Corey Anderson and Martin Guptill, along with the Bangladesh side who lost narrowly to England 2-1 in a thrilling 50-over series is a great way to kick things off.
But little more than an hour into your ODI, you're going to have to switch over to the Test format, as Australia and Pakistan begin the second Test of their series, which saw Pakistan come so close to a record-breaking run chase in the first meeting between the sides.
The ODI runs until 06:00, with the first day of the Test match going on until 07:00, so feel free to flick between the two. You're going to need to record the NBA Western Conference basketball though, contested by the excellently named Minnesota Timberwolves and Oklahoma City Thunder, from 01:00 to 03:30 - we'll explain why later.
A-League football: 07:00 to 11:00
After all that it's time for breakfast, so head on to the kitchen, grab some grub and then get yourself straight back onto the sofa - there's A-League soccer to be watched.
Think of this as a warm up for the day's main event - Premier League football - unless of course you're an avid fan of Sydney FC or Brisbane Roar. You'll probably have missed a few minutes of the first game between fifth place Newcastle Jets, of Emile Heskey fame, and eighth place Wellington.
After that, it's more A-League soccer as bottom side Adelaide take on league leaders Sydney - here's hoping for plenty of goals from down under. But with the soccer finishing at 11:00, there's an hour and a half to go before Watford and Crystal Palace kick the Premier League action off - what to do?
Basketball: 11:00 to 12:30
Well that basketball you recorded earlier is going to come in pretty handy here.
Furthermore, you get to fast forward through irritating stoppages in play, and that's going to take you pretty much all the way up to the Premier League.
Premier League football: 12:30 to 19:00
Maybe this would be a good time to get some bubble and squeak for lunch before settling down for six and a half hours of football time. Here are your fixtures.
Watford v Crystal Palace
Arsenal v West Brom
Burnley v Middlesbrough
Chelsea v Bournemouth
Leicester v Everton
Manchester United v Sunderland
Swansea v West Ham
Hull v Man City
There's plenty of intrigue there, with Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United and Manchester City all in action, and the late kick-off finishing at 19:00 - that's a lot of beautiful game to digest.
Europe's Strongest Man: 19:00 - 20:00
The final leg now, which we've dedicated to big strong blokes.
That's because we kick things off for the evening session with a Europe's Strongest Man Christmas special. You're going to watch the likes of Eddie Hall compete in the World Deadlift Championships, as well as lifting other heavy objects we presume. Admittedly this was filmed back in July, but it's only being screened for the first time now and it makes for a lovely bit of variation, wouldn't you agree?
By now you're probably feeling the strain of almost 24 hours of consecutive sport, and as well you might, but there's work to be done.
Basketball (again): 20:00 to 20:30
Remember the basketball you recorded earlier? You had to stop it for the Premier League, so you've been on tenterhooks all day wondering who won, right?
Use this half an hour to finish watching the Minnesota Timberwolves take on Oklahoma City Thunder - what a treat.
Rugby union: 20:30 to 22:00
Onto the home straight, and it's rugby union time - this game kicked off at 15:00, but is being shown later on in the evening. It's not live, but we're not going to suggest you watch Newcastle v Sheffield Wednesday. We're just not.
Watch men throw the egg-shaped ball backwards to each other as bottom-place Aviva Premiership sides Bristol Rugby and Worcester Warriors attempt to keep in touch with the teams above them. They've only one win between them all season, so it could be a good one.
College football: 22:00 to 01:30
Limping on, we can only imagine how you feel now. Technically you've been watching sport for 24 hours, although it's likely you've fallen asleep with chocolate wrappers all over your lap.
If you can muster the strength, the last sporting action of the day comes in the shape of American football - team names of the day also go to North Carolina State Wolfpack and Vanderbilt Commodores, who will contest the Independence Bowl (don't drop it!) to take you through to the end of Boxing Day.
And presumably the end of your career as an armchair sports fan.