You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout I'm telling you why: 4-4-2 is an outdated formation and we've got some modern festive twists for the Premier League's finest to try out this Christmas.
Some are quite sensible, some are wildly ill-advised, all are Christmassy - let's do this, starting with the most logical, and finishing with downright inadvisable.
We'll call this one as it is - the Christmas tree is the most sensible formation in this list, a classic 4-3-2-1, but we couldn't leave it out.
Spurs striker Harry Kane is the obvious choice for the star atop the tree, but the rest of the team offer structure, with magnificent goalkeeper Hugo Lloris a more than worthy tree stump.
Our one concern is that Tottenham like to allow their full-backs to fly up the wing during the game - if this is the case, the tree's going to fall over. That's physics folks.
There's definitely a joke to be made about Jesus Navas here, but now is not the time to make it.
We see absolutely no problems here for Pep Guardiola's side, with the rotational symmetry of the five-pointed star offering balance in all areas. Much like the star of Bethlehem, the diamond 4-4-2 is perfect for guiding Pep's side towards league glory.
"I am dilly ding dilly dong - I am a bell." Surely the greatest quote of Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri's 2015/16 season, and as such we couldn't resist honouring the man with this festive formation.
A wonky 4-3-3, we think this shape will be most a-pealing to the Foxes as they look to celebrate the new year by climbing further from the relegation zone.
We reckon this formation is a bit lop-sided however, likely to leave Claudio Ranieri's men vulnerable down the right-hand side, and you know, in defence generally. If so, Ranieri can always ring the changes.
Getting a bit sillier now, although we reckon there's some tactical nous involved in the Christmas cracker formation.
Harking back to the 1950s when teams front-loaded their formations, we've gone for a 4-1-5 here for Arsenal, with Granit Xhaka given the sole responsibility of holding the whole thing together.
Easy to pull apart and a disappointing surprise within (sorry Arsenal fans) the cracker shape offers little in width, but a lot in attack.
Against a side like Chelsea, this formation just wouldn't work. Victor Moses and Cesar Azpilicueta would destroy the Gunners down the flanks, while Eden Hazard would expose the shape as the Christmas cracker joke it really is.
What's at the bottom of this Christmas stocking? Well, the end of Chelsea's winning run if they were to employ it.
We're imagining the Blues taking on title rivals Manchester City at Stamford Bridge, their players effectively guiding Sergio Aguero et al towards the goal, much like an aeroplane guided towards a runway.
Stick to the 3-4-3 Antonio Conte, there's no Christmas cheer to be had with this formation.
By now you've probably worked out that these are getting more and more ridiculous - well, welcome to the runt of the litter: the candy cane formation - you'd need a Christmas miracle for this formation to bear any fruit.
A little one-dimensional, the defence holds a fairly conventional shape while in attack we're not quite sure how it's all going to work. If we're honest, there are too many attackers on the left wing.
"Close them down!" Jurgen Klopp would shout. "But without compromising the structure of the candy cane!" It's an impossible task, a 5-1-1-1-1-1, and quite frankly anyone employing it should have their coaching licence revoked.