5 new Premier League signings we fully expect to be rubbish


After a busy summer of transfers, the new Premier League season is just around the corner.

Money has been flying about and while some of it will prove to have been well-spent, a lot won't.

Focusing on the latter is more fun, so here are a handful of players who we reckon will flop during the 2016/17 campaign.

1. Jordon Ibe (Liverpool to Bournemouth)

Bournemouth's Jordan Ibe (left) is tackled by Valencia's Jose Gaya
(Adam Davy/PA)

"What a bargain," were the words uttered by no-one when the Cherries forked out £15 million for the 20-year-old winger.

It appears today's price for pace, power and potential is on a par with the money paid by Newcastle for the guaranteed goals of all-time Premier League leading scorer Alan Shearer.

It is unlikely Liverpool have stopped laughing at their good fortune, although there is a chance they will come to miss Ibe's phenomenal contribution of one goal in 39 league appearances. Probably not though.

2. Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Paris St-Germain to Manchester United)

Manchester United's Zlatan Ibrahimovic celebrates scoring his side's second goal of the game
(Nick Potts/PA)

A star striker signed from France on big wages... what could possibly go wrong? While undoubtedly a winner, the big man has been playing in a second-rate league for the past four seasons and will soon be blowing out 35 candles on his birthday cake.

He probably won't flop quite as spectacularly as Radamel Falcao - he's already scored in the season-defining Community Shield - but it is almost impossible that Zlatan can live up to the hype which greeted his Old Trafford arrival.

There should be a few interesting interviews and amusing quotes along the way, though.

3. Isaac Success (Granada to Watford)

Watford's Isaac Success during the Pre-Season Friendly
(Paul Harding/PA)

Success by name, success by nature? The stats suggest not. Seven goals in almost 50 La Liga games is hardly something to shout about and the Nigerian striker has the extra pressure of being the Hornets' record signing.

Add to that the challenge of breaking the impressive partnership formed by Odion Ighalo and club captain Troy Deeney, and it seems Success my struggle to do his surname justice.

4. Nolito (Celta Vigo to Manchester City)

Manchester City's Nolito, center, jogs with his teammates
(Mark Schiefelbein/AP)

Based on Nolito's Euro 2016 exertions, City have nailed all the key attributes of a top-class winger - slow, one-footed and lacking the skill to go past a player. Not exactly what is needed to adapt to the speed and end-to-end nature of the Premier League.

In his favour, City's new number nine should at least be prepared for Manchester's wet weather having spent the past three seasons playing in the rain of north-west Spain. He will also be spared the "cold Tuesday night in Stoke" test with Pep Guardiola's men due in the Potteries on the second Saturday of the season.

5. All of Burnley's signings

Burnley players sit in the dugout before the match
(Nigel French/PA)

All right, so Burnley can't splash the cash like some of the teams near the top. That said, Clarets fans could be forgiven for thinking that Sean Dyche is already waving the white flag and planning for a swift return to the second tier.

Teenagers Robbie Leitch and Jamie Thomas have been brought in with one eye on the future, while Nick Pope and Johann Berg Gudmundsson, who helped take Charlton down to the League One last season, are the only first-team "reinforcements".

Cheap? Yes. Premier League standard? No.