Jamie Vardy's first words to his lookalike were very mean indeed


Leicester City are champions of England - a feat so unbelievable we're surprised the entire sentence isn't underlined with a red squiggle when typed into a word processor, with "no suggestions" and a confused shake of the head the response when you right-click.

Nevertheless it really has happened and it means a large portion of the East Midlands is experiencing joy like never before - except one Leicester fan. One fan had that joy snatched away from him by one of the men most responsible for providing it in the first place. Jamie Vardy.

The evidence lies in this 10-second video, showing what the 29-year-old's first words were when confronted by his lookalike, Lee Chapman.

In case you didn't catch that, he said: "What is that? Absolute full-kit wankerrrrr!".

Just imagine being Lee Chapman for a second - a humble postman and lifelong Leicester fan who didn't even realise until eight months ago he resembled Vardy. Chapman probably woke up that morning extra early, purely from excitement. His team had just won the league - he was going to get his round done quick-time so he could soak it all in at the King Power, where the team were due to be.

"I've not slept. I went in for work at 6.30am and ran my round so I could be here outside the stadium. I'm still supposed to be at work now," Chapman told the Guardian shortly before his dreams came true and he was invited on to the team bus.

Giddy from all the winning and lack of sleep, Chapman probably had to rub his eyes after entering the bus, all cartoon-like, unsure if he'd accidentally consumed some ayahuasca and traversed a different dimension - surely that would make more sense than his hero, his very mirror image, standing in front of him. And it did, until Vardy's words punctured the air.

"Absolute full-kit wankerrrrr!".

If only he was born looking like Claudio Ranieri.