Why didn’t the Guildhall fly the flag of St George?

The Guildhall in the City of London flew the Union flag on St George’s Day. “This seems odd to me. We take pride in St Andrew (and his flag in Scotland) and St Patrick Day events,” my nonplussed spy says. The Guildhall blamed Whitehall rules. “Our flag policy follows the Government’s policy, which is that the Union Flag is to be flown on St George’s Day,” a spokesman tells me.

But the Government says that, while the Union flag should be flown on government buildings on all of the UK’s national days, local authorities only need to follow the rules “if they wish”. The guidance is also silent on when to fly the St George’s Cross. Indeed, the Culture Department flew it on Tuesday. Perhaps the Guildhall should dig deep and buy a second flagpole?

Judi’s props

Dame Judi Dench has a problem. She can remember entire Shakespeare plays but not where her shoes are. “I could do the whole of Twelfth Night for you and the whole of the ‘Dream’. It’s the only thing I can remember,” she tells American radio. “I can’t remember where I put my shirt yesterday or a pair of shoes. I can’t remember what’s happening tomorrow, and I can’t remember what happened last week.” Tie a knot in a handkerchief?

More phobia

Labour Party chairman Anneliese Dodds was the main speaker at a meeting of the “1987 group” of black Labour MPs and party members in Parliament this week, named after the historic election in 1987 of four black and Asian Labour MPs. Dodds said her party backed compulsory “afrophobia” training for Labour staff, but admitted she had not made it compulsory for herself (she had heard it was “engaging”). Some of her audience were less than impressed. One member said he was exasperated by these events.

LOL

Thanks for sending in more ideas for over-50s textspeak, after former MEP David Campbell Bannerman got the ball rolling last week. Richard Graves offered KG (Knee’s Gone) while Emma Rollin suggested WDICIHF (What Did I Come in Here For) for time-pressured mid-lifers. Vincent Emms recommended BYOT (Bring Your Own Teeth) and ROFLACGU (Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can’t Get Up). Mark Thomas sent in a comprehensive list including WDWPTC (Where Did We Park The Car), DYPBL (Did You Pee Before Leaving) and KTHNI (Kids Today Have No Idea). Others included HPIMSA (He Parked In My Space Again) and BSWIHA (Bring Some Wipes It’s Happened Again). Quite what had happened, he wouldn’t say.

Bookish Sir Keir

It was sad to hear the admirable Labour MP Rosie Duffield tell me on GB News this week that Rishi Sunak is nicer to her than her leader Sir Keir Starmer. Still, Starmer has revealed he is making plans in the unlikely event that he loses his seat at the general election. “There’s a little bookshop on Kentish Town High Street, and I’ve always fancied working there,” he tells Gyles Brandreth’s Rosebud podcast. “So if it all goes badly, you can come and see me in my bookshop. Bring your book and I’ll make you a cup of coffee and we can have a longer discussion.” Form a queue!

Grade A decision

Michael Grade has no regrets about axing Doctor Who in the 1980s, when the BBC show was plagued by wobbly sets. “It was so tatty, it was hopeless. I remember the producer came to see me and said ‘How many [episodes] do you want next year,’ and I said ‘None.’ I said to him ‘Have you been to the cinema lately? Have you seen Star Wars or Close Encounters’? I said ‘I have got news for you, so has our audience – what we are delivering with Daleks that do not go upstairs, it did not cut it anymore.” Had the Daleks not heard of stairlifts?

Lindsay’s father

Sir Lindsay Hoyle was back in the Speaker’s chair in the Commons this week, days after the funeral of his father Lord (Doug) Hoyle at St Paul’s Church in Adlington, Chorley. Politicians including deputy speaker Nigel Evans and the SNP’s Ian Blackford joined trade unionists and Warrington Wolves rugby league players to hear tributes to the cricket mad peer. Roger Lyons, 81, a former regional official for the Association of Scientific, Technical and Managerial Staffs trade union, remembered nine-year-old Lindsay following his father to union meetings. “I had to get some pencils for him so he could do his colouring-in at the back of the room,’ said Lyons. “He was a good little boy who just got on with his drawings.” Nothing has changed!

Peterborough, published every Friday at 7pm, is edited by Christopher Hope. You can reach him at peterborough@telegraph.co.uk