Tough guy Jason Fox’s 13 tactics you’ll need to thrive in midlife
Everyday life can be uneventful. The kind of strength we need to weather life’s challenges doesn’t feel very applicable when you are busy sleep-walking through another average week. Who has time for a big adventure when there’s the daily grind to be dealt with?
Maybe adventure is just for other people. People like Jason Fox, aka Foxy from SAS: Who Dares Wins, the former special forces operative who has experienced more than his fair share of gritty situations.
Those 20 years of military service, PTSD, burnout and back round again have given him a perspective on life that is more relevant than you might first think. Particularly if you’ve got just a little bit cosy and perhaps a little fuzzy around the edges.
In his new book Embrace the Chaos: 52 Tactics to Make Every Day Count, he shares some of his hard-earned wisdom. It’s the jolt back into life that many of us could do with. Even Foxy himself.
“People say to me, I’m thinking of doing something but it’s going to be nothing compared to the things you’ve done, and I’m like it’s all relative. There are things I plan to do now that would fade into obscurity next to what I’ve done in the past, yet they’ve become big things that I need to prepare for.”
While it is unlikely that your mission will be kayaking the Yukon river, or negotiating with drug cartels in South America, like Foxy has, he believes we can all benefit from finding a mission to challenge ourselves with.
Life cycles through periods of what he calls “mission”, “chaos”, “recovery” and “calm”. Some missions we choose for ourselves: getting fit, taking on a challenge to reinvigorate a sense of listlessness, learning a new skill. Others are more reactive, like a family crisis or a period of ill health.
“No one can really fully prepare for a reactive event – they’re usually shocking by nature. Proactive missions, however, can be mapped out and trained for.”
Here’s how to get started, and the 13 tactics you need to stay the course.
Mission
Completing a challenge will nearly always leave you feeling an expanded sense of wellbeing and personal growth. “That’s something you just won’t get from a night in on the sofa, or a night at your favourite restaurant or at the pub with your mates,” says Foxy.
Tactic 1: Define your mission
Having a focus and purpose is the whole point of a mission. It might be that you want to lose weight, get fitter and stronger, or just feel more alive. “Start by defining your challenge and then you can start to craft what your mission looks like.”
You don’t have to do it alone. Many relationships crumble when one or both partners lose their desire to attempt new challenges or experience adventures together. “Facing an obstacle as a partnership is sometimes the perfect way to escape the sense of stasis because it tends to deliver a jolt to the senses,” Foxy explains.
It’s good if your joint mission prioritises time spent outdoors in nature and involves confronting a fear or takes you out of your comfort zone. “Whether that’s a fear of heights, or public speaking, the challenge needs to be scary and inspirational at the same time,” says Foxy.
Tactic 2: Competition is fuel
When you’re feeling stuck, finding motivation can be a mission in itself. How do you stay on track and keep pushing forward?
For Foxy, competition is fuel. “And that doesn’t mean other people, necessarily. For me the best person to have as competition is yourself. Keep trying to better yourself and push yourself that little bit further.”
“If you’re sitting at 800 calories an hour on the bike or rower, why not try for 1,000? Keep competing with yourself.”
When you are competing against yourself, that is the purest form of competition. “Because only you know if you’re cheating,” says Foxy, “and that is a very difficult pill to swallow. It’s just you and your demons.”
Tactic 3: Remember the primary mission
If you’re going through a training programme, whether it is to lose weight, become more fit and agile, or improve your mental health, there will come a point when you will lose sight of why you’re doing it. “And then you will look for reasons not to do it,” says Foxy. “It’s then that you need to go back and remember your primary mission.”
During Foxy’s time in the special forces, a “mission” was always one succinct easily understood line. “The boss would stand up and say: ‘Tonight our mission is to save the life of the hostage’.”
Mission creep is when you become fixated on other things, which detract away from what you’re trying to achieve. “It can kill people, you can become fatigued.
“The enemy could be watching, you’ll give away tactics in that moment that you don’t need to. It applies to everything in life. Just remember why you’re doing something.”
Recovery
At the conclusion of every mission there has to be time for recovery. “Decompression is a discipline. If done properly there’s a good chance you’ll feel stronger than before.”
Tactic 4: Take a long hard look
After you’ve completed your training session make time for a debrief on how you’ve done. “Could you have done better? Did you knock off that rep? Did you ignore the fifth set?”
That same analysis is what the special forces would do immediately after an operation. The hot debrief would be where the wash up of the mission took place and he would be forced to answer “Why did you do that?”. That would feed into an after action report, which is something to be learnt from. How can you rectify mistakes so they don’t happen again in the future?
That long, hard look is still a tactic that Foxy applies to every aspect of his life – not just training and adventures. “It’s basically a grown up way of being honest and looking at how you can tighten the bolts of your mistakes.”
It’s also about humility; resisting the temptation to say you’re awesome and did awesome, even when you failed. “If you allow pride to take control you will never admit to your mistakes.”
Tactic 5: Live a parallel life
This technique is all about building up your resilience reserves.
“I went through a stage of hating the word, but I actually think it’s helpful. Resilience is how you react and bounce back from failure, sadness, whatever. It’s what you call upon to continue life.”
Foxy suggests imagining your life running in parallel on Life A and Life B.
“In Life A you’re not as healthy. You don’t sleep well, you go out too much and drink too much, your nutrition is terrible, you don’t check in with yourself.
“In Life B you have a healthy balanced lifestyle. You get good sleep. Your nutrition is great. It’s balanced, you go out and have fun, you drink a bit but you don’t drink to excess and then you check in with yourself.”
When a big event happens – moving house, a job loss, a bereavement or illness – if you’re on Life B you are more likely to bounce back from that trauma than if you’re on Life A. “Because you’re in a better stage of readiness,” says Foxy.
Being operationally ready was a requirement of his time in the Special Forces. “Getting in Life B is where the best form of battle prep is done. And life is basically battle.”
Still, life can sometimes end up being more Life A. “I’ve had things coming up and I knew the week was a write off, I was on Life A. I just had to buy into it and it was great fun but I’m suffering now! I’m ready for Life B.”
Tactic 6: Respect the pain
“Unless you are Wolverine, which I think I am, but I’m not,” laughs Foxy, “it’s inevitable that you are going to get injured at some point.”
Instead of railing against the turn of events Foxy’s advice is to respect and grow through the process of recovery. An injury is an opportunity to rebuild yourself, learn about your body and see what it’s capable of and how far you can push it.
Respecting the pain isn’t just about injury. If you’ve pushed yourself in a session and are aching, then that’s because you’ve pushed yourself. It’s an inevitable part of training to be better.
Chaos
A missed train, an unwanted responsibility, a family tragedy; the cycle of stress and worry can arrive in a manner of ways. “This is what life really is,” says Foxy.
Tactic 7: Switching On
A pet peeve for Foxy is seeing people in the gym going through the motions. “They have no control over their body. They’re doing the movement but they’re not engaging.”
For him, a workout is switching on, understanding what your body is supposed to be doing.
“Think about where your hips are, what are your knees doing? Pushing in or out? What do I need to be doing to make this a proper exercise and not get bored?”
A couple of years ago Foxy hurt his back picking up a kettle bell. “I was going through the motions and it put me out for a week. I was fuming.”
It feels like it’s more of a struggle than ever to be “switched on”. People barely look up from their phones as they cross the street nowadays. “And then they wonder why they’re getting their phone nicked or hit by a bicycle.” Unsurprisingly, his approach to walking in the city is to be looking 20-30 metres ahead. You won’t catch him chatting on his mobile.
If you’re out of the city on adventure, switching on is the mindset you need to get through trials and tribulations. When you’re caught out in a downpour and soaked to the bone but with no shelter in sight.
“It’s a natural reaction to sit there shivering, but when you do that you’re no good to anyone else and you’re liable to go down with something that will get worse. It will impact and snowball.”
Keeping your mind busy and engaging with your surroundings will keep that at bay. “Don’t go into yourself and feel sorry for yourself. You are allowed the time to moan but don’t go on too long.”
Tactic 8: The Tiny Details
When you’re in the midst of a challenge the small things can suddenly seem huge. “It’s something my colleague Nims Purja talks about really well. It’s the little things that can count the most on big mountains. A leaky water bottle or poorly fixed boot will bite you on the arse when you’re higher up.”
However, if you get the small things right then the big things will fall into place. Before you exercise, make sure your trainers fit and that you’ve done the laces up properly. Make sure your water bottle is always full. If you’re in the gym training, are your hands and feet in the right position?
“If you don’t get these tiny details right you will get injured, or dehydrated, or you will trip up. Stupid little things like that,” says Foxy.
This extends to all areas of life. In the military they say: “First parade your car”. “Which means, before you set off, you check all your car’s levels, water coolant, the tyre pressure,” says Foxy. “You make sure you’ve got stuff in the back of the car. A sleeping bag, a first aid kit. Who does that? No one!”
Tactic 9: Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast
Another way of wording this is: “Do not rush into your own death.”
Foxy learnt as a young recruit that before you made a decision to think long and hard before you swung into action because it could be your last.
The Americans love the phrase “slow is smooth and smooth is fast”. Doing everything slowly means you’re less likely to make mistakes. “It’s pretty simple,” says Foxy. “It means that when you’re in the gym, you don’t need to rush through your routine. I see it all the time, people racing thorough reps in a set. It’s not good. You’ll get injured. Prioritise quality over quantity.”
Driving is another classic situation. Foxy is a reformed speed freak. “I’ve had points on my licence in the past and I’ve learned the hard way.”
Now he’s made peace with going slower and getting there pretty much the same time anyway.
“I’m pootling along at the speed limit or just below it. Going quick stresses you out. And when you take your time you get there in a better state of preparedness.”
Use this as your mantra for life, or at least to stop you cramming yourself onto the first tube train that comes along. There will be another one in a minute.
Calm
Moments of calm are incredibly rare: “That’s why it’s important to maximise the quiet moments and treat them as a gift.”
Tactic 10: Routine building
“People who don’t have any routine have no direction. They’re rudderless. A routine is your navigation tool.”
An essential part of having a routine, though, is being flexible with it. Foxy travels with resistance bands and a travel kettle. That way he can always do a variation on his morning exercise and coffee routine.
“Having a routine gives me flexibility. Some people get freaked out by not being able to stick rigidly to the routine. But a routine isn’t there to govern you. You are there to govern it.”
Tactic 11: Own the morning
If you are hitting snooze every morning your first task is to adjust your alarm. “If you can still afford to get up and do what you need to do at a later time, set your alarm for then and give yourself more time for quality sleep. If you’re snoozing when you don’t have time, then get out of bed and own the morning.”
Foxy takes a moment to check in with how he’s feeling. If there is a negative feeling, you don’t need to fix it, but you need to look at it. “It might be that you have a meeting you are dreading or a milestone you’re about to hit, or targets to reach. You’re allowed to feel anxious about that, but you also need to acknowledge them.”
He takes a cold shower, not so much for health reasons as for mental ones. “I get a lot of satisfaction from knowing I’ve got the discipline to do something that’s not nice. It’s the first win of my day.” Throw open the windows, get some fresh air. Own the morning.
Tactic 12: Nutrition = Armour
If you are on Life A then most likely you don’t prioritise eating well. Getting older has been a gift for improving his diet, says Foxy. “I used to think when I was younger that if you were training you could eat any old crap. Now I realise I’m not indestructible. What you eat has an impact on your brain too. KFC tastes great, but it doesn’t feel great.”
Foxy dabbles in fasting but nothing more than an extended morning: “Which is mostly when I’m shredding and want to keep track of my calorie intake.”
Breakfast is normally porridge and he priorities real protein over shakes and bars. Eggs and chicken are his go-tos. He tries to steer clear of refined carbs like white bread, but concedes it’s too tasty not to sometimes.
For anyone with a busy life on the road, meal-prepping is a must do tactic. “You can make really simple, nice stuff. Chuck it in Tupperware. Because it stops you from eating the s--t that you get in service stations that makes you feel terrible.”
He recently drove up to Birmingham and back in one day. “I knew I was on the road all day. I hadn’t prepped and I ended up eating s--t and I was furious with myself.”
Tactic 13: Last of all, remember you will die
This is what Foxy wanted to call his new book, but his publishers wouldn’t let him. For him, memento mori isn’t a negative thing. It’s not the fear of the Grim Reaper at his shoulder. It’s a phrase that reminds him of two things: “Death is coming. Why make it come sooner? Look after yourself.”
And secondly: “Death is coming regardless, so fill what time you’ve got with cool s--t. Because when it comes to that day of reckoning, you want to be looking back on it thinking I’ve had a great time,” says Foxy. “Don’t get too comfortable.”
Embrace The Chaos by Jason Fox is published on the 25th April 2024 by Bantam, Transworld (available from Telegraph Books)
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