'Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.'
'I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.'
'On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all.'
'We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.'
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel 'inadequate'.
'It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time - this should be banned.'
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. In fact, she had mistaken the 'do not disturb' sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
'The beach was too sandy.'
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
'We bought designer sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.'
'No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.'
'It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, but it only took the Americans three hours to get home.'
'I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.'
'The brochure stated: "No hairdressers at the accommodation". We’re trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying there?'
'There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.'
- "My girlfriend kept me awake because she was snoring. Can I have a discount?"
'We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.'
'It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.'
'I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite.'
'My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.'
- "My dog didn't enjoy his stay. Can I have a refund?"
'We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.'
- "The hotel didn't have an ocean view." The hotel in question was in London, 80km from the nearest coastline.
"The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."
"Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."
"We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."