Festive dig at Dominic Cummings voted number one new Christmas cracker joke

A festive dig at Dominic Cummings has been voted the winner of a national competition to come up with new Christmas cracker jokes.

Quips about lockdown, Zoom, Eat Out to Help Out, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson also featured heavily in TV channel Gold's annual competition.

Now in its eighth year, the contest challenged entrants to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, which were then voted on by the public.

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves 10 Downing Street, London, with a box, following reports that he is set to leave his position by the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves 10 Downing Street, London, with a box, following reports that he is set to leave his position by the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves 10 Downing Street, London, with a box, following reports that he is set to leave his position by the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves 10 Downing Street, London, with a box, following reports that he is set to leave his position by the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves 10 Downing Street, London, with a box, following reports that he is set to leave his position by the end of the year.
Number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings leaves his residence in London on November 13, 2020. - British Prime Minister Boris Johnson's chief adviser Dominic Cummings is set to leave his position by early 2021, as a power struggle at the heart of government became public this week. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP) (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS/AFP via Getty Images)
Number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings leaves his residence in London on November 13, 2020. - British Prime Minister Boris Johnson's chief adviser Dominic Cummings is set to leave his position by early 2021, as a power struggle at the heart of government became public this week. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP) (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS/AFP via Getty Images)
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London following reports that he is set to leave his Downing Street position by the end of the year. (Photo by Victoria Jones/PA Images via Getty Images)
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London following reports that he is set to leave his Downing Street position by the end of the year. (Photo by Victoria Jones/PA Images via Getty Images)
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London following reports that he is set to leave his Downing Street position by the end of the year. (Photo by Victoria Jones/PA Images via Getty Images)
Number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings leaves his residence in London on November 13, 2020. - British Prime Minister Boris Johnson's chief adviser Dominic Cummings is set to leave his position by early 2021, as a power struggle at the heart of government became public this week. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP) (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS/AFP via Getty Images)
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings arrives in Downing Street, London, following reports that he is set to leave his Downing Street position by the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London following reports that he is set to leave his Downing Street position by the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings arrives in Downing Street, London, the morning after Lee Cain announced he is resigning as Downing Street's director of communications and will leave the post at the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London the morning after the announcement that Lee Cain is resigning as Downing Street's director of communications and will leave the post at the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London the morning after the announcement that Lee Cain is resigning as Downing Street's director of communications and will leave the post at the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London for a second time the morning after the announcement that Lee Cain is resigning as Downing Street's director of communications and will leave the post at the end of the year.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's top aide Dominic Cummings leaves his home in north London following reports that he is set to leave his Downing Street position by the end of the year.
Number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings (R) and government advisor Cleo Watson arrive in Downing street in London on November 13, 2020. - British Prime Minister Boris Johnson's chief adviser Dominic Cummings is set to leave his position by early 2021, as a power struggle at the heart of government became public this week. (Photo by Tolga Akmen / AFP) (Photo by TOLGA AKMEN/AFP via Getty Images)
Dominic Cummings is portrayed as a scheming villain by 'Spitting Image' puppet creators. (Avalon/BritBox)
LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 01: Senior aide to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, Dominic Cummings arrives in Downing Street ahead of a cabinet meeting on September 1, 2020 in London, England. MPs returned to Westminster today following the summer recess. (Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)
Dominic Cummings, the chief advisor to Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson, chats to a police officer after moving his car in Downing Street, London, Wednesday, July 1, 2020. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JULY 18: Dominic Cummings, adviser to British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, leaves his London home on July 18, 2020 in London, England. (Photo by Luke Dray/Getty Images)
Dominic Cummings, special advisor for Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson reacts as he arrives at his house in London following the outbreak of the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), London, Britain, May 25, 2020. REUTERS/Hannah McKay TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY
Dominic Cummings, special advisor for Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson, makes a statement at 10 Downing Street, following the outbreak of the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), London, Britain, May 25, 2020. Jonathan Brady/Pool via REUTERS TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY
Dominic Cummings, special advisor for Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson leaves his house in London, following the outbreak of the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), London, Britain, May 24, 2020. REUTERS/Simon Dawson TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY
Senior aide to the prime minister Dominic Cummings leaves following a cabinet meeting at 10 Downing Street, London.
Dominic Cummings, Chief Adviser to the Prime Minister, arrives in Downing Street, London.
Chief Adviser to the Prime Minister Boris Johnson, Dominic Cummings, arrives in Downing Street, London.
Number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings arrives at 10 Downing Street in central London on December 16, 2019. - Prime Minister Boris Johnson vowed Saturday to repay the trust of former opposition voters who gave his Conservatives a mandate to take Britain out of the European Union next month. Johnson toured a leftist bastion once represented by former Labour leader Tony Blair in a bid to show his intent to unite the country after years of divisions over Brexit. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP) (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS/AFP via Getty Images)
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's key adviser Dominic Cummings leaving his north London home following yesterday's Cabinet reshuffle. (Photo by David Mirzoeff/PA Images via Getty Images)
Dominic Cummings says cartoon superheroes PJ Masks could do better job than current cabinet
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and his advisor Dominic Cummings, left, leave 10 Downing Street in London, and get in a car together to go to the Houses of Parliament, Monday, Oct. 28, 2019. British Prime Minister Boris Johnson says it's Parliament's fault, not his, that Britain will not be leaving the European Union as scheduled on Oct. 31. The EU has agreed to postpone Brexit until Jan. 31, 2020, after Johnson failed to get British lawmakers to ratify his divorce deal with the bloc in time to leave this week. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham)
Dominic Cummings, a senior aide to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, attends the book launch of Winning Against the Odds: My Life in Gambling and Politics by Stuart Wheeler at Carlton House Terrace, London.
Sacked aide launches unfair dismissal claim after Dominic Cummings had her frogmarched out of Downing Street
Call for Dominic Cummings to appear before parliamentary committee
Rishi Sunak could find decisions on economic policy being made in 10 Downing Street under Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings.
Dominic Cummings, a senior aide to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, attends the book launch of Winning Against the Odds: My Life in Gambling and Politics by Stuart Wheeler at Carlton House Terrace, London.
Senior political aide Dominic Cummings speaks to Stuart Wheeler, at his book launch for Winning Against the Odds: My Life in Gambling and Politics, at Carlton House Terrace, London.
Dominic Cummings, a senior aide to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, attends the book launch of Winning Against the Odds: My Life in Gambling and Politics by Stuart Wheeler at Carlton House Terrace, London.
Stuart Wheeler (left) with Dominic Cummings at the book launch of Winning Against the Odds: My Life in Gambling and Politics by Stuart Wheeler at Carlton House Terrace, London.
Pro remain campaigner Steve Bray interviews Dominic Cummings as he arrives at the Cabinet office in London,United Kingdom on 22nd August 2019. (photo by Claire Doherty/In Pictures via Getty Images)
Dominic Cummings arrives in Downing Street, London.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson with his senior aid Dominic Cummings as they leave Downing Street, central London.
Senior aide to the prime minister Dominic Cummings, in Downing Street in Westminster, London.
Dominic Cummings, special advisor for Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson, leaves his home in London, Britain, September 2, 2019. REUTERS/Henry Nicholls
Dominic Cummings, special advisor for Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson, leaves his home in London, Britain, September 2, 2019. REUTERS/Henry Nicholls
Dominic Cummings, special advisor for Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson, leaves his home in London, Britain, August 20, 2019. REUTERS/Hannah McKay
LONDON, ENGLAND - AUGUST 7: Dominic Cummings, special advisor to Prime Minister Boris Johnson arrives at 10 Downing Street on August 7, 2019 in London, England. (Photo by Chris J Ratcliffe/Getty Images)
Number 10 Chief of Staff Dominic Cummings arrives at Downing Street in central London on August 2, 2019. (Photo by Tolga AKMEN / AFP) (Photo credit should read TOLGA AKMEN/AFP/Getty Images)
EMBARGOED TO 2330 THURSDAY AUGUST 6 File photo dated 21/07/20 of senior aide to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, Dominic Cummings, whose trip to Durham at the height of lockdown while suffering from Covid-19 drastically undermined public trust in the Government�s handling of the pandemic, according to new research.
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The winner was: "What is Dominic Cummings' favourite Christmas song? – Driving Home for Christmas."

Author of the joke, Craig from Manchester, won £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke crackers, one of which will contain his champion laugh.

Entries for the competition were shortlisted by a panel of judges, led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau, and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 adults.

Mr Dessau said: "Amongst one of the strangest and most turbulent years yet, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through.

"With subjects ranging from Zoom and self-isolation to Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings, there are jokes here to tickle everyone after a challenging year."

Eat Out to Help Out scheme
Eat Out to Help Out also featured in submitted jokes (PA)

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, added:  "The festive period is a time for reflection, and although the nation has certainly had a difficult year, it's heartening to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever."

– Gold's top 20 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2020 are:

1. What is Dominic Cummings' favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.

2. Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop? Many of his workers have had to elf isolate.

3. Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.

4. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.

5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen.

6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, it's behind you.

7. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.

8. Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn't know how many tiers it should have.

9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.

10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.

11. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail.

12. Why won't Santa lose any presents this year? He's downloaded Sack and Trace.

13. How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas? It'll take ages to flatten the curve.

14. How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year? Fine. No sweat.

15. Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials? Because they only wanted guinea pigs.

16. Which Government scheme supports Christmas dinner? Eat Sprout To Help Out.

17. How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party? Put him on mute.

18. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook.

19. Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas? Marcus Rashford.

20. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book a home delivery.

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