Gardener forced to keep repairing his woman-shaped hedge because drunks are simulating sex with it
A Sheffield topiarist is being forced to make regular repairs to his woman-shaped hedge because drunk people keep simulating sex with it.
Keith Tyssen first crafted his bush in the shape of a nude woman, whom he has named Gloria, in 2005, and has been troubled by amorous passers-by ever since.
The 84-year-old said: ‘You get drunks publicly undressed and having fun with her in the middle of the night.
‘I’ve been awakened many times – mainly by men and sometimes also by women messing about with her and making a lot of hysterical noises.’
Keith says he came up with the idea for Gloria – whom he named after a local prostitute – while teaching at the Sheffield’s former College of Arts and Crafts.
He explained that he noticed a stranger mimicking sex with Gloria three weeks ago.
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‘I heard a noise outside my window at about 4.30 in the morning and there was a man making moves by climbing on top of her and moving her legs as if he was having sex with her,’ Keith said.
‘It’s offensive and appalling and is damaging her figure – privets don’t respond well to being manipulated like that.
‘It’s changing the shape of her legs and thighs and it’s annoying because I spend a lot of time trying to keep her in good order.
‘I don’t particularly want to spend any more time doing it.’
Keith’s neighbour Chris said that he shared the topiarist’s frustration with the damage done to Gloria
He said: ‘We think [the bush] is great – we absolutely love it. Keith is a lovely neighbour and a wonderful person.
‘The privet lady is a work of art and we get really cross when people damage her.
‘It’s a living thing and if someone breaks a branch it could take that branch five years to grow back.
‘Damaging it can cause it to change beyond all recognition.’
Keith, who helped to design Sheffield Train Station’s impressive Cutting Edge sculpture, has not reported the incidents to police for fear of reprisals.
