David Davis' explanation of Brexit is possibly the least helpful thing you'll hear today

Brexit Secretary David Davis' first statement to MPs on Britain's future has left quite a lot to be desired.

He kicked things off with a helpful explanation of what exactly Brexit means: "Naturally, people want to know what Brexit will mean. Simply, it means leaving the European Union."

david davis speaks in the commons (PA)

Erm, yes. We knew that bit.

He went on to say that Britain's aim is "to preserve the relationship with the European Union on security matters as best we can" and that there will be no attempt to "delay, frustrate or thwart" the will of the British people to leave.

MPs were absolutely brutal about the lack of strategy Davis seemed to have, with shadow Brexit secretary Emily Thornberry describing his statement as filled with "empty platitudes".

Opposition MPs even shouted "waffle" at him as he delivered his incredibly lengthy speech - you know you're having a bad day when the champions of waffling accuse you of such.

Even Larry'd had enough.

So what do we actually know about Brexit now? Well, as highlighted by Thornberry, it seems we're not going to have a points-based immigration system, we're not going to have any more money for the NHS, and we're not going to have any reduction in VAT on fuel.

"But what we haven't been told is what they're going to do," she said. "When are they going to tell us how they're going to deliver, for example, free trade for British businesses while also opposing immigration controls - let alone how they're going to address the red lines Labour has demanded on the protection of workers' rights and guarantees for EU citizens?"

Your guess is as good as ours.

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