"Cr*p" caravan with brilliant description fetches bids of £75,000 on eBay

Hilarious eBay description attracts sky-high bids, but the wit selling the caravan remains upbeat

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Hideous caravan advertised on eBay

A woman selling a dilapidated old caravan on eBay had some fun with the description, and her sale of the "utterly cr*p caravan" has attracted so much interest that bids have reached more than £75,000.

She described it brilliantly, explaining that: "My husband drunkenly bought it on Ebay, and neglected to mention that one day he'd taken the day off work and driven halfway across the country to pick it up, deposit it around the back of our office, and failed to declare it as technically a marital 'asset' until recently." He'd taken three weeks to work up the courage to mention his purchase,

She added: "Luckily, I'm the trusting type, and despite appearances I don't think he bought it solely for the purpose of having a sordid extra-marital affair or taking up dogging, however as you might be able to see from the pictures, it would be PERFECT for both."

The bathroom
The look is described as "shabby sh*t". She explained "I briefly considered starting a fun project to convert it into something cool - covering it in glitter, wallpapering the walls with fur, doing demented Cath Kidston-esque upholstery and starting an ill advised business touring festivals selling tat etc. but I've got two children, a job, and an idiot husband to deal with and quite frankly, time is money so I'm not going to bother."

She added: "That doesn't mean you shouldn't though." Explaining: "Nothing a few coats of paint wouldn't fix, but like I said - ABSOLUTELY NOT to be undertaken by anyone with small children, better things to do, or indeed, any reliable form of social life."

Caravan interior

She later added the edit: "Free idiot husband for winning bidder."

She has also risen to the challenge of responding to questions sent by bidders. These include gems such as: "Does this come with a free Tetanus injection?" and "I see that this item is fairly local to me. Is it possible that you could move it further away, please? Many thanks in advance..."

Her answers are equally impressive. To the question: "Just curious, what's that white powder stuff outside the door?" She answered: "The powdered remains of my enemies". And to the question: "I've got a cr*p van to sell, can you put me in touch with your husband please?" She answered: "Sorry, we already have one of those too. It is blue. Also bought on Ebay."

Will it sell?

Overnight, things were looking promising, with bids reaching over £300 - a reasonable sum for a renovation job. Unfortunately, since then, bids have reached the kinds of levels we have seen before on novelty items, which are never paid, and topped £75,500.

The seller may remember the experiences of the woman who sold a loom band dress on eBay last October. The original listing attracted bids of £170,000, but the sale fell through, and when it was relisted it didn't fetch any bids at all. Eventually the dress was sold in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support for £220.

The seller doesn't seem too upset by the turn of events though. When asked on the site: "Is this for real?" she responded: "Yes Emma. This caravan actually exists, and I would like to sell it. I'm a bit unsure as to whether I will ever realise the current £70k high bid, but nevertheless - the caravan MUST GO."

And to the question "Would it burn well?" she said: "If the winning bidder gets a bit shy about their £65,900 commitment, then we shall see.....!"

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