Hire your own fortified hideaway in the middle of the ocean

Five star luxury in an exclusive private ocean-side hideaway: just a couple of downsides

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Spitbank Fort

It's not just James Bond villains who get to live it up in their own private fortified hideaway in the middle of the ocean. You too could have your own ocean lair, where you will be free to plan world domination (or what to have for breakfast) from the comfort of a luxury suite. And you don't even have to travel half way around the world to take advantage of it.

Amazingvenues.co.uk

Spitbank Fort offers all this. There are nine bedrooms including two stunning suites - with chandeliers and gilded beds, and plenty of velvet and sheepskin. There's also a swimming pool, sauna, wine cellar, and roof terrace with an open fire pit and uninterrupted views of the ocean.

Spitbank Fort

There are a few of downsides, however. The first is that you're not going to be soaking up much sun from your fort's roof terrace any time soon. You can enjoy the fire pit and if you're brave you can take a dip in the pool, but you won't get much of a tan, because it's a mile off the coast of Portsmouth.

And while there will be nothing between you and your sea views - you won't be looking at blue oceans as far as the eye can see - you'll have a reasonably close-up view of Portsmouth.

It has the advantage of being easy to get to for a couple of nights away (something Dr No would have done well to consider), but the disadvantage is that if you really want to get away from it all, you won't be leaving it far behind.

How much?

The other slight fly in the ointment is the cost. Prices start around £800 for a night on the fort (although the package includes a 24-hour stay so you can enjoy every luxury it has to offer at that price). If you're travelling off peak you can even get a night in one of the most expensive suites for £900.

However, at peak times you can expect to pay between £1,000 and £5,000 a night - depending on the options you choose. And if you wanted the fort for the exclusive use of you and your friends, you can expect to have to dig deeper.

Of course, you could argue that five star accommodation never comes cheap, and that this is a snip for a night in a luxury ocean hideaway. You can be sure that you're average Bond villain had to fork out millions for his lair, and would consider £1,000 a mere drop in the ocean.

But what do you think? Would you pay this sort of money for a stay?

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