Gag about Coleen Rooney’s sleuth saga among best Christmas cracker jokes of 2019

Jokes about Donald Trump, Love Island and Coleen Rooney's sleuth saga have been named as some the best Christmas cracker gags of 2019.

The British public were asked to submit their best original jokes for the annual competition run by TV channel Gold, which were then judged anonymously by 2,000 people.

The winning wisecrack, penned by secondary school teacher Matt King, reads: "Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn't get on with china."

Mr King, from Wokingham, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of Gold Christmas crackers, one of which contained his own gag.

For a second year running a joke about the US president topped the list.

Last year's winning joke read: "What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off."

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Wayne and Coleen Rooney
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Wayne and Coleen Rooney
Wayne Rooney with his wife Coleen who has revealed she is pregnant with her fourth child.
Manchester United's Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen during the FWA Gala Dinner at The Savoy, London.
Manchester United's Wayne Rooney and wife Coleen ringside at Manchester Arena.
Manchester United's Wayne and Coleen Rooney (right) arrive for the Manchester United Player of the year Awards at Old Trafford, Manchester.
Wayne and Coleen Rooney watch The Boodles Diamond Handicap Stakes, during day two of the 2014 Boodles May Festival at Chester Racecourse.
Wayne and Coleen Rooney are stopped at a backstage production gate leading to the Pyramid Stage during the first performance day of the Glastonbury 2013 Festival of Contemporary Performing Arts at Pilton Farm, Somerset.
England's Wayne Rooney with his wife Coleen and son Kai, leave the team hotel in Krakow, Poland.
A heavily pregnant Coleen Rooney (right) with husband Wayne Rooney and their son Kai, on the pitch to celebrate Manchester United winning the Barclays Premier League, after the game
Wayne and Coleen Rooney backstage at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset.
Coleen and Wayne Rooney leave Liverpool Women's Hospital with baby Kai.
Manchester United's Wayne Rooney, and wife Coleen arrive back at Manchester Airport, Manchester.
Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin at Anfield Stadium, Liverpool during the Liverpool Sound Concert as part of the Capital of Culture celebrations.
Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin at the Gary Neville and Emma Hadfield wedding, Manchester Cathedral, Manchester.
Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin during their visit to Alder Hey Children's Hospital, Liverpool, where they opened a new unit for children with brain illnesses.
Wayne Rooney and Coleen Mcloughlin arrive at the United for Unicef dinner at Old Trafford, Manchester.
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Another of this year's jokes riffed on Rooney's claim that Rebekah Vardy's Instagram account was the source of leaked stories about her private life.

The saga made headlines around the world, with the hashtag #WagathaChristie trending.

The joke reads: "What is Coleen Rooney's favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who."

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Rebekah Vardy
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Rebekah Vardy
Rebekah Vardy in the stands ahead of the FIFA World Cup 2018, round of 16 match at the Spartak Stadium, Moscow.
Rebekah Vardy attending the National Television Awards 2019 held at the O2 Arena, London. Photo credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS
Rebekah Vardy during the Premier League match at the King Power Stadium, Leicester.
Jamie Vardy and Rebekah Vardy attending the Pride of Sport Awards 2018 at the Grosvenor House hotel, London
Rebekah Vardy attending the National Television Awards 2019 held at the O2 Arena, London.
Rebekah Vardy, wife of England's Jamie Vardy during the FIFA World Cup third place play-off match at Saint Petersburg Stadium.
Rebekah Vardy attending the TV Choice Awards 2018 held at The Dorchester, Park Lane, London. Picture credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS
Dennis Wise and Rebekah Vardy attending the TV Choice Awards 2018 held at The Dorchester, Park Lane, London. Picture credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS
Rebekah Vardy (left), wife of England's Jamie Vardy and Fern Hawkins, girlfriend of England's Harry Maguire in the stands before the FIFA World Cup third place play-off match at Saint Petersburg Stadium.
Rebekah Vardy, wife of Jamie Vardy before the FIFA World Cup, Semi Final match at the Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow.
Rebekah Vardy, wife of Jamie Vardy prior to the FIFA World Cup, Quarter Final match at the Samara Stadium.
Rebekah Vardy in the stands ahead of the FIFA World Cup 2018, round of 16 match at the Spartak Stadium, Moscow.
Rebekah Vardy in the stands ahead of the FIFA World Cup 2018, round of 16 match at the Spartak Stadium, Moscow.
Rebekah Vardy in the stands ahead of the FIFA World Cup 2018, round of 16 match at the Spartak Stadium, Moscow.
Megan Davison, girlfriend of England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford (left) Annie Kilner, girlfriend of England's Kyle Walker (centre) and Rebekah Vardy, wife of England's Jamie Vardy during the FIFA World Cup Group G match at Kaliningrad Stadium.
Annie Kilner, girlfriend of England's Kyle Walker (left) and Rebekah Vardy, wife of England's Jamie Vardy during the FIFA World Cup Group G match at Kaliningrad Stadium.
Rebekah Vardy, wife of England's Jamie Vardy, in the stands during the FIFA World Cup Group G match at the Nizhny Novgorod Stadium
EMBARGOED TO 0001 MONDAY JUNE 11 EDITORIAL USE ONLY Rebekah Vardy becomes BetBright's official Video Assistant Referee (VAR) after receiving a crash course from former Premier League referee Mark Halsey ahead of the World Cup, at Leicester City Football Club Youth Academy in Leicester.
Rebekah Vardy attending the 2018 TRIC Awards at the Grosvenor House Hotel, London.
Rebekah Vardy attending the National Television Awards 2018 held at the O2, London. Photo credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS Entertainment
Rebekah Vardy attending the National Television Awards 2018 held at the O2, London. Photo credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS Entertainment
Rebekah Vardy (right) wife of Jamie Vardy in the stands
Jamie Vardy and Rebekah Vardy attending The Pride of Britain Awards 2017, at Grosvenor House, Park Street, London. Picture Date: Monday 30 October. Photo credit should read: Ian West/PA Wire
Leicester City's Jamie Vardy (second right) and wife Rebekah watch from the stands during the Premier League match at the King Power Stadium, Leicester.
Jamie Vardy and Rebekah Vardy during the red carpet arrivals for BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2016 at The Vox at Resorts World Birmingham. Photo credit should read: Doug Peters/EMPICS Entertainment
Rebekah Vardy, wife of England's Jamie Vardy after the Round of 16 match at Stade de Nice, Nice, France.
Rebekah Vardy, wife of England's Jamie Vardy in the stands before the Round of 16 match at Stade de Nice, Nice, France.
England's Jamie Vardy kisses his wife Rebekah Vardy in the stands following the Round of 16 match at Stade de Nice, Nice, France.
England's Jamie Vardy kisses wife Rebekah (centre) following the UEFA Euro 2016, Group B match at the Stade Geoffroy Guichard, Saint-Etienne.
Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy (top) wife of England's Jamie Vardy in the stands during the UEFA Euro 2016, Group B match at the Stade Felix Bollaert-Delelis, Lens.
Rebekah Vardy wife of England's Jamie Vardy in the stands during the UEFA Euro 2016, Group B match at the Stade Felix Bollaert-Delelis, Lens.
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The reality TV show Love Island also featured on the winning list.

A joke about the popular ITV2 programme reads: "What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt."

Bruce Dessau, comedy critic and head of the judging panel, said: "Amongst the political turmoil that seems to have swamped our country this year, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through.

"With subjects ranging from Brexit and Love Island, to Greta Thunberg and Coleen Rooney, there are jokes here to tickle even the biggest of Scrooges."

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, said: "The festive period is a time for reflection on the year, and although we've certainly had our ups and downs, it's incredible to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever."

The top 10 Christmas cracker jokes for 2019, according to Gold:

1. Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate?
– He doesn't get on with china.

2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?
– It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

3. Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.

4. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?
– Carbon footprints.

5. What is Coleen Rooney's favourite game to play over the festive period?
– Guess Who.

6. Why doesn't Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa?
– Because he struggles in the poles.

7. Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas?
– Because she's a swede dish campaigner.

8. What's the difference between Rudolph's nose and David Cameron's autobiography?
– Only one will be red at Christmas.

9. What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?
– A melt.

10. What is Olivia Colman's favourite part of a turkey?
– The Crown.

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