How to have more orgasms as you age

Ways to improve your sex life in your 50s, 60s and beyond


woman having an orgasmWe produce less oestrogen and testosterone as we age, which can have an effect on desire as well as sexual satisfaction. If you find that you have fewer orgasms - or that the take longer to achieve or are less pleasurable – there are things you can do.

See also: How to keep your sex life hot

See also: How to get your sex drive back after the menopause

1. Exercise before sex
Better blood flow means a better sex life – and the best way to achieve this is exercise. A study from the University of California at San Diego found that middle-aged men who worked out for 60 minutes three to four times a week reported more frequent sexual activity and orgasms. A separate study from the University of Texas at Austin found that women who cycled vigorously for 20 minutes experienced 169% improved blood flow to the genital area. So if you want stronger orgasms, exercise before sex!

2. Stop smoking and cut back on booze
Stopping smoking is one of the best things you can do for your sex life, as well as your health. Smoking narrows the veins and arteries and makes it harder for blood to flow into the genital area. The result? Weaker erections for men and poor arousal for women.

One or two drinks might help get you in the mood, but don't have any more than that. Excessive alcohol consumption not only affects sexual arousal and vaginal lubrication, it can also lessen the intensity of your climax, delay orgasm, or inhibit it altogether.

3. Strengthen your pelvic muscles
As women age, the pelvic floor muscles become weaker. If you've gained weight over the years or had one or more pregnancies, the muscles are more likely to become stretched out – which is bad news for your sex life as well as your continence. The more lax your muscles, the less strong your orgasms.

To strengthen your Kegel muscles (the ones you use to stop urine mid-stream) simply squeeze them and hold for a few seconds, then repeat 30 times, several times a day. You can also buy special exercise devices to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

4. Invest in a vibrator
"We lose sensitivity as we get older, and women in particular can need stronger stimulation to orgasm," says Durex's sex and relationship expert Susan Quilliam. "If you're not used to using one, I would recommend spending more time on foreplay and using a compact vibrator for clitoral stimulation. Because it's smaller, it can be easier to introduce into your love making." Check out these best sex toys for women over 50.

5. Use lubrication
After the menopause, a woman produces less oestrogen, which can thin the walls of the vagina and lead to dryness and irritation. Lack of lubrication is an issue for many older women, particularly if you're not using hormonal supplements, but there are things that can help.

"Your GP may be able to prescribe medication that builds the vaginal tissue back up, and there are some great water-based lubricants on the market," says Susan, who suggests using Durex Play O which enhances orgasm, as well as providing lubrication.

6. Eat cherries
Around half of men over 40 will experience some form of erectile dysfunction (ED) at some stage in their lives. Erectile problems are usually caused by insufficient blood flow to the penis, so foods that are good for your vascular system are likely to help prevent ED too.

A joint study by the University of East Anglia (UEA) and Harvard University suggests that eating flavonoid-rich foods – such as cherries and blueberries - may help to prevent ED.

Researchers analysed the diet, lifestyle and sexual performance of 50,000 middle-aged men. Of all the foods they tracked, cherries were found to have the most significant impact on preventing problems with getting or maintaining an erection. The magic ingredient is a flavonoid called anthocyanin – found in cherries, blueberries, blackberries, radishes and blackcurrants.

While improving your diet is good for your health in general, other lifestyle factors are important too. Eating cherries won't do much to keep your erections strong if you don't exercise, if you smoke or are obese. Unsurprisingly, researchers found that men who ate plenty of fruit (more than 3.7 servings a day) and exercised were the least likely to experience problems in the bedroom.

7. Have sex, then dinner
On the subject of food, avoid having a big meal before you go to bed. After eating, blood flow is directed to the digestive tract instead of the genitals, which can have an effect on arousal and performance. If you want to have more intense orgasms, have sex before you have dinner.

8. Talk through any issues
Arousal starts in mind, especially for women, and stress, poor self-esteem, anxiety, and relationship problems can all have an impact on your ability to get in the mood and enjoy sex. Talking things through with your partner and being honest about your feelings is often the first step to improving your sex life.