My vegan boyfriend angrily dumped me when I ate meat again
Helen*, 30, was devastated when her vegan boyfriend Adam*, 28, broke up with her after she started to eat meat again.
Adam and I met through work. After changing careers in my late twenties, I started a new job in the tech industry and Adam was in charge of showing me the ropes. He was kind, passionate, funny and a little bit nerdy. We had a lot in common and although he was unlike anyone else I had ever dated, I fancied him as soon as I met him.
Despite endless flirting and obvious sexual tension, Adam didn’t ask me out until four months after I started at the company. We were keen to keep things as professional as possible, but after our first date, it was apparent to both of us that this was something special.
Adam and I filled our weekends with camping trips, festivals or trying new foods. As a relatively new vegan, I appreciated him sharing his favourite vegan restaurants and recipes with me. Adam loved animals and was super-conscious of his environmental impact, whilst I made the decision to go vegan purely for health purposes. And although we were vegan for different reasons, it was important to both of us and was something we really bonded over.
Changing my diet
About nine months into our relationship though, I began feeling sluggish, low in energy and generally unwell. I tried taking vitamins, eating less processed foods and going to the gym more, but nothing worked. I finally saw a doctor to find out what was wrong and after several blood tests and consultations, was advised to incorporate more iron into my diet. My iron levels were abnormally low and despite the supplements I was already taking, it wasn’t enough.
I didn’t feel guilty about eating meat again – especially as my health problems cleared up – but I felt guilty for lying about it.
I was disappointed, but figured it wouldn’t be that hard. After all, veganism was still relatively new to me, and secretly, it wasn’t something I necessarily loved. It was a lifestyle decision I made because I thought it was the healthy thing to do.
I was incredibly reluctant to tell Adam that I’d started eating meat again. I knew it was better for my health, but I just didn’t think that he would understand. He'd been vegan for so long and was so vocal about how important it was to him.
Keeping it secret
I hid it from him for the first few weeks, even blaming my flatmate for putting her groceries on 'my' fridge shelf, or secretly ordering takeaway burgers when he wasn’t around. I didn’t feel guilty about eating meat again – especially as my health problems cleared up – but I felt guilty for lying about it.
Adam was condescending, judgmental and patronising about it. And when I told him that my doctor was the one who suggested I drop the vegan diet, he told me that I was 'making excuses'.
All my friends and family knew that I was eating meat again and found it ridiculous that I was hiding it from Adam. "This is for your health!" they’d remind me. "How long are you going to hide it for? How long can you hide it for?" – and they were completely right. I was embarrassed about how much work I was putting into hiding it from him, and eventually, I knew that my secret was going to slip. I wanted to let Adam know before he found out on his own.
A bad reaction
But when I finally told him, he wasn’t supportive at all. Instead, Adam was condescending, judgmental and patronising about it. And when I told him that my doctor was the one who suggested I drop the vegan diet, he told me that I was “making excuses” and that my decision was extremely selfish.
I was shocked. This was a side of Adam that I had never seen before.
I was shocked. This was a side of Adam that I had never seen before. Not only was he always supportive of me previously, but I had also never heard him speak negatively of anyone else who wasn’t vegan or plant-based. I couldn’t understand why he was so angry towards me and my decision to eat meat again.
Adam broke up with me on the spot. And as upset as I was about his decision, there was a part of me that was relieved that we were breaking up sooner than later. His anger towards me only served as more of a reason to let him go – there was no way I was going to fight to keep someone around who used my health against me.
Now, I’m taking time for myself and happily single. Although I’ve met many wonderful men since Adam and I broke up two years ago, none of them have been 'the one'. Admittedly this is the longest I've been single, but I'm loving it – and with every new person that I date, I’m learning more and more about the kind of person I want to be with.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.
