I have Crohn’s disease, this is how I cope with Christmas

Sabrina Thompson, 38, a science teacher from London, has been living with Crohn’s disease for nearly 20 years. She is married to Ben, 45, who works in cyber security, and has two daughters, aged six and eight, and a stepdaughter, aged 28. Here, Sabrina explains how she handles food and stress over the Christmas season.

During Christmas 2019, all I could eat was medical nutritional milkshakes. I was in the middle of a bad flare which lasted for around three months. It was very frustrating but that's life with Crohn’s disease – sometimes you just have to do what you need to do to get through it.

I’ve struggled with stomach issues for as long as I can remember. When I was about seven or eight, I experienced a lot of reflux and vomiting, but at the time everyone said it was just because I was upset by my parents’ divorce. It continued on and off through my teens, but again was attributed to stress and mental health issues.

Then when I started university, things got really bad. I had just turned 19 and I was struggling to cope. I was in severe pain and vomiting all the time. It progressed until I couldn’t keep any food down, then even any water.

Accused of being bulimic

I was admitted into hospital but they accused me of exaggerating my symptoms and being bulimic. I think they were very dismissive of me as a young, Asian woman. It was only when my older, white boyfriend Ben (who is now my husband) spoke on my behalf that doctors finally took me seriously and agreed to carry out tests.

The tests showed I had extensive ulceration of the small intestine and I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Since then, I’ve managed the condition by being careful about what I eat and taking immunosuppressants every day. I also take steroids when I have a flare of symptoms.

On a daily basis, I have constant stomach pain and may need to go to the toilet between one and five times. But during a flare, the pain is excruciating and I may go around 20 to 30 times per day. Flares can happen at any time for all sorts of reasons but stress is definitely a key trigger for me.

When I have a flare, I can’t hold down many foods except for things like plain rice, cream crackers and mashed banana – and I usually get my nutrients and protein from medical milkshakes. Carrying on as normal is very difficult at these times, although my work has been hugely supportive – they ensure I always have access to a toilet.

Living with Crohn’s at Christmas

I’m used to managing my symptoms all year round but at Christmas there are a few extra things to worry about. Everyone with Crohn’s has different foods which aggravate their condition. For a lot of people, it’s wheat or dairy but, for me, fruit and vegetables are one of the main issues.

At Christmas, if I’m having a flare, I have to avoid leafy vegetables like sprouts – which is a shame because I’m one of the few people who love them. I can nibble the pastry from around a mince pie but I don’t touch the filling because raisins really aggravate my condition. It means foods like Christmas pudding and Christmas cake are also off the table.

Unless I’m having a really bad flare, I’ll happily tuck into some soft meat from inside the turkey on Christmas day – but I have to avoid crispy foods like turkey skin, pork crackling and nuts. These are too harsh on my intestines. It’s also usually OK for me to eat cooked, plain root vegetables, like potatoes, carrots and parsnips.

Keeping stress to a minimum

Stress is one of the biggest things that aggravates my symptoms and we all know Christmas can be stressful. I try to keep things as simple as possible – and Ben normally takes the lead on sorting out Christmas dinner so I can sit back and relax. We buy a pre-prepared roast and ready-made sides from supermarkets so there’s not a lot of cooking to do on the day.

When it comes to putting up the tree, I’ll sort the lights and tinsel, then sit down and let my daughters, age six and seven, go wild with the rest of the decorations. Having Crohn’s means I easily feel exhausted. My children understand that there are some things their Mummy can’t do – but it’s nice to see them get stuck in helping out at Christmas. I also have a wonderful older stepdaughter, who is 28, who always helps so much when she comes to stay.

My younger daughters’ birthdays are both over Christmas so it’s a lot of work to organise everything at the same time. I take the stress out of it by planning well in advance and spreading out tasks like wrapping presents over the weeks beforehand so there’s not a last-minute rush.

Changes to my social life

Christmas when you have Crohn’s can feel very different from other people’s experiences. I’m often invited to lots of meals and nights out. Most people can go along without thinking about it but for me it’s not that easy. I know if my body’s not up to it on the day, I can’t go.

I’m lucky that alcohol doesn’t aggravate my Crohn’s so I can have a few drinks on a night out, as long as I’m not having a flare. But if I’m going out for a meal, I always have to check the menu in advance to make sure there are things I can eat. That’s not always easy if it’s a set Christmas menu so sometimes it involves phoning the restaurant to check.

I’ve got limited energy so I have to pick and choose which events I go to. And if my symptoms flare up, I often have to cancel at the last minute.

Two different wardrobes

When I’m on steroids my weight balloons and I regularly swing between a size 10 to 12 and a size 16 to 18. I can look like two completely different people but I’ve come to terms with the fact this is my normal and as a result I have two wardrobes – one for 'smaller' me and one for 'bigger' me. I’ve got two sets of clothes for every occasion and Christmas is no different.

When I’m smaller, I’ve got a gorgeous festive jumper dress I’ll wear. And when I’m bigger, I get out my comfy Christmas jumpers and wear those over a loose dress. Sensitivity and bloating mean I haven’t been able to wear trousers for 20 years, so I always stick to dresses or skirts which fasten above the waist.

I’m a bit bigger this year so I’m looking forward to getting out my snuggly jumper and relaxing with my family on Christmas day. On top of our day jobs, Ben and I have been working hard together this year to set up our not-for-profit organisation Cyber Security for Schools helping schools improve their cyber security, so it will be nice to have a break.

While I’m not 100 per cent well at the moment, I’m confident I know how to manage my symptoms. My best advice for living with Crohn’s at Christmas is to listen to your body and don’t be afraid to make whatever adaptations you need to enjoy the holidays.