How a Child with a Debilitating Dog Phobia Became a Pup-Obsessed Adult

Anyone who knows me just how much I adore dogs--especially mine. Carter and Jack have me wrapped around their paws, and I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. The love, authenticity, and joy they bring to my life are truly priceless, and I feel lucky to be part of both of their lives.

But that's obvious! What most people don't know about me, however, is that I wasn't always a dog person. To tell you the truth--I had a severe phobia of dogs!

Until about the age of nine, one of my worst imaginable fears was interacting with a dog, even a tiny one. Unfortunately for little me, my hometown was (and still is) one of the most dog-friendly towns I've ever seen. So what changed?

Growing Up With a Fear of Fido

I was privileged to grow up in a safe neighborhood where people knew and looked out for one another. It was normal for some kids to walk to and from elementary school alone, but families--including the four-legged members--were also welcome on campus before and after school. While this is a dream for most people, it was my living nightmare.

Some mornings, I panicked so much about my classmates' dogs that I had to be escorted to the classroom separately. My parents, friends, and even my teachers had to step in to help me when I became overwhelmed because my vulnerable young mind was so sure I was going to be attacked.

I would hold in the panic as much as I could, but it almost always resulted in uncontrollable tears and shaking. I had always heard that dogs can 'smell fear,' too, which made my cyclical panic so much worse.

I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could when my friend's Miniature Schnauzer sniffed my hand for the first time, and I crawled on top of a table when my family's electrician brought over his Chihuahuas. (Sorry, Mom and Dad--I know you were trying to help!)

One of the most fascinating details about my former phobia is that my only negative experience with a dog happened long after my fear began, and I was only a witness to this dog bite. This fear was present as far back in my young childhood as I can remember, but I never figured out why the sight of a dog would send me into an instant panic attack.

Getting Comfortable With Canines

Living in such a dog-friendly town was a blessing in disguise. It forced me, in a way, to address this crippling fear, and it also gave me and my family a lot of help.

I owe my love for dogs to a few special four-legged angels and the people who helped me get to know them. This includes my Aunt Cathy, Uncle Dennis, and their late dog, Molly. She was a sweet and patient Shih Tzu, the first dog ever to sit in my lap, and her teddy bear-like appearance definitely won me over.

Before long, my parents realized I needed more guidance to feel comfortable during dog interactions. Luckily, one of my closest friend's family was able to help. They guided me through short interactions with their precious rescue dog, Maggie May, and they always brought her when our families went to the local park every Friday evening. I had always been around dogs who were out on a walk and riled up, so seeing Maggie calmly hanging out gave me an entirely new perspective. This sweet Pit Bull and her family were the most influential in boosting my confidence around dogs, and even though it's been 15 years, I still think of them so fondly.

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Rest in Peace, Molly and Maggie May--and thank you for being your patient, loving selves.

Bringing Home Carter

Throughout middle school, my family continued helping me build confidence around canines. Every Saturday, we visited the local rescue dogs at the farmer's market downtown, and I went from "That wasn't so bad" to "I want a dog" by the time I was near high school. Understandably, my parents made me wait to ensure it was a good idea, but my perfect dog came home from the shelter my very first week of high school.

Carter is now 13 years old and even more loved than I could fathom. My parents and I are crazy about him, and we've accepted that he's the king of the house now. He was the best companion, distraction, and friend when I was struggling with my mental health, and now he gets to be a companion for my parents in their retirement.

Growing up and moving out has changed my relationship with Carter (that's for the next essay), but I am just as excited to see him as I was when we first brought him home over a decade ago.

From Uncomfortable to Obsessed

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When I think back to myself as a child, literally bawling in fear at the sight of a Golden Retriever across the street, I can't help but smile. If only I could go back and tell myself what I know now!

But even if I could, the reality is that I would not have been ready to 'get over' my fear all at once. I didn't know it until much later, but I am on the autism spectrum and often feel extreme fear in unknown situations. Simply put--I didn't understand how to interact with dogs! With the help of family and childhood friends, however, I was able to take these scary interactions one step at a time until it felt as natural as hanging out with friends.

I truly believe that growing up with a phobia of dogs helped me appreciate the relationship I have with them now. I can understand the depth of a human-canine relationship in the ways people and their dogs connect, and I can truly see why they're known as 'man's best friend.'

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