The Top 5 armoured cars for a dangerous school run

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The Top 5 armoured cars for a dangerous school run

News (or rumours) broke this week that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had spent around $1million on two armoured vehicles to transport baby North to school when he comes of age.

That might sound ridiculous but the couple have a net worth of around $140million and we can't begin to imagine the gangs of nasty sorts that hang around ludicrously expensive private schools hoping to make a successful kidnapping.

"Kanye is fully aware that his new family is so high-profile they attract the attention of weirdos and psychopaths," a source told the Daily Star. "He aims to leave nothing to chance."

Well, if you and your partner have a similar net worth and also think the school run is akin to driving through Helmand Province naked, then you need some seriously tough wheels.

Here is a selection of the finest...

Dartz Prombron

This heaving goliath helped Sacha Baron Cohen promote his 2012 movie The Dictator. A chrome-clad Prombron drove through the streets of London as The Dictator himself sat inside, safe from the baying crowds. Prombron machines are completely hand-built, bespoke armoured vehicles that range from a B2 ballistic protection level (handguns etc.) all the way up to B7 (assault rifles and RPGs). Four-wheel-drive comes as standard as does the ability to deck it out in ridiculous exteriors like chrome plate and gold lacquer.

Armoured Chevrolet Kodiak C5500

American firm Streit Group specialise in creating vehicles that can withstand epic bomb attacks. The 300bhp Chevrolet Kodiak boasts a whopping 704Nm torque to drag its 4.5 tonne bulk around town, but the added weight is well worth it. Three surveillance cameras, armouring to the front bumper, fuel tank and windshield plus a reinforced radiator make this the perfect battering ram for congested school runs.

Obama's 'The Beast' Cadillac

Cars don't get much more stacked than this beauty; a bespoke Cadillac number that's based on the GMC TopKick truck platform. The vehicle, dubbed 'The Beast', spends its day transporting President Obama around the world so it needs to be able to withstand more than the odd egging from a crazed nutter. President Obama is protected by doors that measure 8-inches thick (and weigh as much as a cabin door on a Boeing 757 jet), Kevlar reinforced tyres, an oxygen system in the boot in case of fire and a direct line to the Pentagon. Your precious little ones can't get much safer than that.

Alpine Armoring Mercedes-Benz G63

These rugged off-road monsters look as if they should come with bombproof armour from the factory but unfortunately they don't. That's why aftermarket firm Alpine Armoring take a standard 5.5-litre V8 AMG model and slap on as much ballistic armour as they can. We're talking protection against high power rifles such as 7.62x39, 5.56x45, 7.62x51, M193, and M80 ball, the original glass replaced with certified multi-layered ballistic glass/polycarbonate and all opaque materials surrounding the passenger area are replaced with certified ballistic steel. Oh, and the floor has anti-mine protection. Take that school run terrorists!

Lasco Ferrari 599 GTB

Armoured cars don't all have to be massive SUVs and 4x4s. Those wanting a stylish Italian supercar to crawl up to the school gates in only have to give Lasco International a call. The US-based tinkerers will take your Ferrari 599 GTB and make sure it withstands a vicious attack from a lollipop lady with a handgun. There is no guarantee it won't handle like an elephant on roller-skates though.

Take a look at the rock-hard road hogs in the gallery below

Top 5 Armoured Cars

Top 5 Armoured Cars