Former England and Chelsea footballer Ray Wilkins had slurred speech and difficulty standing when he was pulled over by police near his home in May last year, a court has heard.
North Surrey Magistrates' Court was told that officers observed Wilkins' Jaguar "weaving" down the road at around 2am, before it "lurched" forward and collided with a traffic island.
When arrested, the 56-year-old allegedly became abusive to officers, before falling asleep in the back of their patrol car.
Once taken to the police station, tests found that he was nearly three times over the legal drink-drive limit.
Mr Wilkins denies a charge of drink-driving.
Speaking to the court, PC Nicholas Skidmore, said: "There was a strong smell of intoxicating liquor in the vehicle and around him.
"When he got out of the vehicle, he couldn't stand up properly, he had to lean against the car."
It was also detailed to the court how Mr Wilkins became further agitated when he was told he couldn't contact his family until he had undergone intoxication tests.
"I'm not going to bash up anybody - this is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous," he was heard to say to officers.
The prosecution countered: "He would say that, wouldn't he?"
Ray Wilkins was appointed an MBE in 1993 for services to football, following a career that saw him play in two world cups, earn 84 caps and play in clubs across Europe.
Latterly he was also manager at Queens Park Rangers and Fulham football clubs.
The trial continues.