As you'll probably know, car manufacturers like to ply us with 107-year old wine and feed us hand-cooked swan in order to make us say nice things about their new cars. Obviously it doesn't work with me.
As long as it isn't a Vauxhall, I'm completely impartial when it comes to delivering my verdict on a car.
But in order to get a Skoda Citigo as a long-termer, I had to do the bribery... I mean... entertaining with certain members of the Skoda press office.
I really wanted to get hold of a Citigo for six months because, in my opinion, it's the best one out of the VW Up/Seat Mii/Skoda Citigo triumvirate, and it really represents Skoda at its best – quality cars at reasonable prices.
And I am delighted to report it has worked – the AOL Cars fleet now boasts a dinky Czech for six whole months; half a year; 182.621 days.
It's not any old Citigo though, rather the new Sport. The model level sits quite neatly between the mid-spec SE and range-topping Elegance versions and costs £10,290.
However, don't think we've got our hands on a Citigo that's a vRS in all but name. For some strange reason the Sport is fitted with the lower-output 1.0-litre three-cylinder engine – that's 58bhp between you and I.
There's also an interior trimmed in manly black and red and Sports only come in an exterior colour palette of three shades – Candy White with red stripes, Tornado Red with black stripes and Deep Black with red stripes. We chose the latter and ditched the standard black 15-inch 'Auriga' alloys and opted for the 16-inch 'Serpens' at £270.
We also ticked the Safety Pack (city safe system and passenger airbag cut-off) at £180 and the £310 Convenience Pack – parking sensors and cruse control) on the options list bringing the final RRP of our car to £11,050.
When the time came for delivery I was the first behind the wheel. And bearing in mind I had fed the Skoda press team with braised venison soaked in 1927-vintage Port and had waited months for the car to finally arrive, I drove home very slowly and carefully - not wanting to put undue strain on the car, you understand.
This was – quite rightly, I suppose – ignored by the rest of the AOL Cars team who have driven it since.
Just two days after it had arrived, the Citigo Sport was taken to Wales on holiday and then performed a number of other work-related duties by the team.
What I am trying to say here is that I have little idea of how this car drives at this stage.
All I really know is that bribery on the right people really works.
Model: Skoda Citigo Sport
Price: £11,050 (as tested)
Engine: 1.0-litre, three-cylinder petrol
Power: 58bhp, 95Nm
Max speed: 99mph
Mileage this month: 803
Costs this month: £0