You're joking! It was the only response I could think of after my wife had explained our itinerary for a particularly busy Thursday last month.
She had just informed me we'd be driving from the sunny South Coast to pick up my uni student daughter in Bristol, before collecting my in-laws in Newport, trekking to Cardiff, making another couple of stops on the way ... not an enticing prospect.
The occasion? The 70th birthday of a distant aunt whom neither of us had seen for at least 10 years.
Not to mention the prospect of making small talk with assorted cousins, in-laws, hangers-on and other random relatives of whom I had only the sketchiest recollections from family 'dos' back in the day.
"Can't I feign illness?" I whined. "Nope," she replied. "You're coming with me and what's more, you'll enjoy it."
So it was that my good lady wife and I boarded Car Dealer's long-termer, the impressive Mitsubishi Outlander, on this particular Thursday and headed west.
My wife (readers, meet Rachel; Rachel, meet the readers) hadn't spent much time in the Outlander up until this point and although she thinks our mighty Mazda 6 is more than adequate for our requirements (which it is by the way), the all-new Outlander has definitely impressed her.
In some ways, and I know I'm not alone in this, I did prefer its predecessor, with its distinctive jet fighter-style grille (still a feature of the smaller ASX) – but you can't argue with the fact that the design tweaks Mitsubishi have made mean new Outlander represents a big step forward for the car.
Once we'd arrived in South Wales, the car won many admiring glances from my wife's clan, who are actually a lovely bunch and totally undeserving of the moaning and groaning you read 200 words ago.
I even forgave Rachel's cousin 'little David' – now a strapping six-footer with a kid and another on the way – when he said, "so you work for AOL Cars now? Do they know about that brown Vauxhall Nova saloon you bought back in the 80s?" Cheeky bugger - but he did have a point. I have owned some minging motors over the years.
One thing's for sure, this stunning Outlander certainly does not fall into that category. The only pity really is that the trip to Wales was my last long-distance drive in it before it returned to Mitsubishi. It'll be missed.
Model: Mitsubishi Outlander GX4
Price: £29,999 (as tested)
Engine: 2.2-litre, turbo diesel
Power: 147bhp, 380Nm
Max speed: 118mph
MPG: (comb'd): 48.7
Mileage this month: 437
Costs this month: £0