Put down that brochure for the new Ford Focus and marvel at the spacious four-door saloon which could be yours if you're man enough to serve and protect your family.
That's right, a company in Kent has begun importing former US cop cars for sale in the UK, which means that for around £23,000 a genuine black-and-white could be parked on your driveway.
Crazy? Well, yes, but there are benefits to buying a used Ford Crown Victoria with around 65k on the clock. For a start your neighbours aren't likely to have one.
Secondly, just look at the list of extras. A hand-held spotlight and microphone will make shepherding the kids easy, while Kevlar-plated, stab-proof front seats will mean you are impervious to attacks once you've loaded them into the back of your unusual school-runner.
Apparently the seats are vomit resistant too, which is going to be handy because with the suspension borrowed from an F150 pick up truck, we shouldn't imagine the ride is going to be up to much.
But then neither will the performance with a 4.6-litre Mustang engine up front. Reliability could be an issue too, although Warranty Direct will sell you bespoke cover from £47.50 a month.
"You don't need to be a fan of Americana to own one," explained company boss, Mr Groves. "It's very safe, it's the only car in America that can withstand a rear impact at more than 70mph and parts will be readily available should you need to replace anything.
"The cars are iconic thanks to the movie world and, when you drive around in one, there's an enormous sense of goodwill from other road users."
We're not sure about the goodwill, but certainly people are certainly likely to give you space. In the same way they consciously avoid the nutter on the bus.