Hobbits and Nick Clegg’s reception: What we learned at the Lib Dem conference

Things we learned at the Liberal Democrat conference on Monday:

– The party has turned back to God again. The Christian Forum breakfast went ahead on Monday after being mysteriously moved from Sunday – of all days – when the Lib Dems really were left without a prayer.

– Lost leader Sir Nick Clegg found he was still the conference king as he received a rapturous reception, but he proved not to be a knight in shining karma by taking a swipe at deputy leader Jo Swinson after she said too many of the decisions made by the coalition government they both served in “sucked”.

– The row over the party’s (very) liberal stance on sex work has died down after feminists picketed the conference’s opening session denouncing Sir Vince Cable and co as “pro-pimp”, but Lib Dem officials never tire of being asked if they are specifically targeting the pimp vote to try and win back key marginals.

– Anti-Brexit campaigner Gina Miller turned up to turn down (some) calls for her to take over as leader. But, rather confusingly, she told reporters: “Stop saying ‘stop Brexit’, it’s really not helpful.”

– Given the Lib Dems’ reputation for being achingly right on at all times, it was startling to hear a whole (if mythical) group of beings trashed in one sweeping statement when Cllr David Beaven told conference “the Hobbits are revolting”. Mass relief erupted when it turned out not to be anti-Hobbit hate speech but rather a reference to the growing sense of anger in the shires at the number of holiday home owners pricing out locals.