Last night's Bake Off in an unusual way: It must be National Poetry Day!
It's National Poetry Day - so to kick things off with rhythmic force, what could be more deliciously filling than a poem to summarise the action on last night's Great British Bake Off?
Reader beware: spoilers will ensue - all to the beat of rhyming couplets.
It's often the case in the Bake Off tent
One week you're a star, the next week you're spent
So on Dessert Week could Tom reverse
This most peculiar winner's curse?
The six contestants had to make
A roulade for the signature bake
A fatless sponge all rolled up tight
With not a hint of a crack in sight
Tom's was fit for a millionaire
With chocolate and caramel everywhere
And biscuit too, just to make things harder
For Benjamina, a pina colada
Provided the flavour inspiration
From a tropical holiday destination
And Andrew's roulade followed suit
With oranges and passion fruit
Jane rolled hers wrong and had a scary
Moment but she won back Mary
By filling her roulade up with booze
Seriously guys, how could she lose?
From Benjamina, a perfect bake
But for the coconut that tasted fake
Tom's was okay and Candice the same
Selasi's was served on a photo frame
But Andrew's roulade was the one to garner
The most praise, with his use of banana
Earning a special mention from Paul
His was the strongest overall.
On to the technical they went
On a red hot day in the Bake Off tent
The challenge: to make a marjolaine
And if you don't know then let me explain
It's a French cake made with buttercream,
Layers of meringue and a hazelnut theme
Actually Tom described it better
It's like a posh Wall's Viennetta.
We broke off here to learn about
A confection made for some French count
The details are slightly sketchy for me
As I went to make a cup of tea
And when I got back the judges were on
Dishing out unkind words to Tom
His finished cake, it didn't look classy
Though better at least than the one from Selasi
Andrew meanwhile took the plaudits again
With a perfect-tasting marjolaine
While the Scot flew high with a Bake Off double
Tom and Selasi were clearly in trouble
The marquee was scorching, it wouldn't relent
If you can't stand the heat then get out of the tent
Settle your nerves or you might come a cropper
On a fiendishly fiddly and tough showstopper
Two dozen mousse cakes the final task
Dainty and tasty, a hell of an ask
With everything melting everywhere
Setting a mousse, it's almost unfair
There were sponges and jellies, cocktails and juices
Jane made five different types of mousses
Her cake was a perfect cappuccino
Candice served hers in a glass of vino
Andrew's plates looked very genteel
All served up on a Ferris wheel
But poor old Tom had another disaster
His Bake Off hopes were collapsing faster
Than an under-set mousse in a steamy pavilion
His hipster's picnic idea was a silly 'un
So while Andrew took the star baker prize
All the hope had drained from Tom's eyes
Next came inevitable confirmation,
A Mel and Sue sandwich his consolation,
For us, a sneaky little peak
At what's up next: it's Tudor Week.
Can Andrew step up after his big breakthrough?
Or maybe the curse will do for him too.