Could you be buried by mistake?

Most people arranging a funeral haven't the first idea of what their loved one actually wanted - and two in five don't even know whether they wanted to be buried or cremated. Even fewer know what kind of ceremony the deceased wanted, and which songs they had chosen. It means we can easily blow £4,000 on the wrong funeral.

The study, by SunLife, found that 39% didn't know whether their loved one wanted a religious service or not, and 26% didn't know what readings or songs to have. In fact, 22% of people know absolutely none of their family member's wishes, and only 1% know all of them.

Having no idea what to do is enormously stressful. There are all sorts of decisions to make at a time when the person paying for the funeral is already going through something horrific. Of those who know what their loved one wanted, 95% say it makes things far easier to organise.

On top of that, being in the dark is incredibly expensive. The average funeral now costs £3,897 - a rise of 5.5% in one year and more than double since the cost of funerals started being tracked in 2004. On top of this, the average send-off (including flowers and the wake) costs £1,976.

Those who don't know what their loved ones want risk erring on the side of being over-generous. The deceased may have wanted a modest coffin and no funeral cars - but their family may feel bad opting for this unless it has been specifically requested, so spend hundreds on extra cars and posher coffins with more brass knobs.

SunLife suggests using its website to let your loved ones know. My Perfect Send Off lets you outline exactly what you want from your funeral, without having to raise the subject with your family.

However, this is only the final of a vital four step process.

1. Decide the kind of funeral you want
You may have favourite songs you want included, or people you want to invite. You may not care very much about things like coffin choices or hearses, but even if you don't care, make a firm decision as to whether you are happy for your loved ones to pick the cheapest.

2. Consider the cost
Some of your decisions will have no bearing on cost, but if you want a large crowd and a horse-drawn hearse, there will be significant costs associated with it. It's worth talking to an undertaker about a very rough costing, so you can see how much your ideal funeral will cost. If this comes in as far more expensive than you had expected, then you can compromise.

3. Work out how you will pay for it
With so many families having to borrow to pay for funerals, the best approach is to leave a sum of cash to cover the cost. Some people choose to pay into a funeral savings scheme, which will make the admin easy for their loves ones. Others choose to leave a sum of cash specifically earmarked for the funeral, which can be more cost-effective, but you will need to consider the fact that this will usually form part of your estate.

4. Talk to your loved ones
Once you know exactly what you want and what you can afford - and have set the money aside - you can tell your loved ones about your ideal funeral. You can use the website, include details in your will, or just tell them what you want.

It may fell like you are putting them through a difficult conversation, but in reality, by addressing this issue properly, you are protecting them from agonising decisions and thousands of wasted pounds further down the line.