Jeremy Clarkson reveals his least favourite cars of the last year



Last week, Jeremy Clarkson revealed his favourite cars from 2016. They were an eclectic mix of emotive sports cars, practical people carriers and working-class performance heroes.

The former Top Gear presenter is famously outspoken, and when he doesn't like a car he makes no apologies for being very honest about it. So it's no surprise that off the back of highlighting the year's top performers, he's back to pour scorn on those that, as far as he's concerned, should be locked away in the automotive world's cupboard under the stairs.
To qualify his reasoning for most of his selections making this list of 'stinkers', Clarkson explains: "One day Google and Uber and Apple will launch driverless machines, and everyone will climb aboard unless the established carriers can find a way to thrill and excite and dazzle us."

The cars listed here neither excite nor dazzle, apparently.

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Jeremy Clarkson reveals his least favourite cars of the last year
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Jeremy Clarkson reveals his least favourite cars of the last year
"Jimmy Carr was in the passenger seat of the GT-R Track Edition, and after less than half a mile he asked if the sat nav was programmed only to take the occupants to the nearest chiropractor." - Jeremy Clarkson
"I think that’s what the engine does, in fact: turns diesel into sound. Because it sure as hell doesn’t turn it into large lumps of power. Every time I pulled out to overtake a caravan, I had to pull in again because there wasn’t quite enough grunt." - Jeremy Clarkson
" It has no doors, no windows, no sun visors, no radio, no carpets and no roof of any kind. I have encountered better-equipped pencils." - Jeremy Clarkson
"...it left the line about as enthusiastically as its designer got out of bed in the morning. With a plaintive cry of: “Must I?"" - Jeremy Clarkson
"The Hyundai i800 is worse than that parasite that burrows into children’s eyes. It’s worse than the cubicle on a hot army base with a D&V outbreak... I would rather apply sun cream to James May’s back than travel again in a Hyundai i800." - Jeremy Clarkson
"No one is going to spend hours on a configurator, seeing what it would look like in orange or with bigger wheels. It will never be seen in a Fast and Furious film. It’ll never be an option in the Forza Motorsport video game. It’ll never be a poster on a young boy’s bedroom wall." - Jeremy Clarkson
"I drove for 200 miles up the M1 the other morning, and it was an endless procession of cars such as the Superb. And they all suffered from the same problem. They were all average. The Skoda has the same amount of soul as a fridge freezer." - Jeremy Clarkson
"It was red and turbocharged and it would be fine for anyone who needed four wheels and a place to sit down when moving about. And now I’m out of space, which is probably a good thing, because I have nothing else to say about it." - Jeremy Clarkson
"It doesn’t look right and it makes all the wrong noises when you start the engine, and there’s no getting round the fact that you are driving a car based on the Golf Mk 6, not the current and much better Mk 7." - Jeremy Clarkson
"The Seat Leon X-Perience SE Technology that was sent for review had very snazzy door mirrors, but apart from this it was easily the most nondescript waste of metal, glass and plastic since Microsoft’s Kin phone. And it was brown." - Jeremy Clarkson
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Fresh from the perhaps surprising victory of the Zafira Tourer making Clarkson's list of 'star cars', Vauxhall's been brought back down to Earth courtesy of its Astra. Incredibly, the hatchback was so boring it left the notorious loudmouth rather lost for words.

Another car to receive the complaint of being boring is the Skoda Superb. Clarkson reckons it 'has the same amount of soul as a fridge freezer'.

The next car on the list certainly can't be accused of being boring. The Zenos E10 S has been built by former Lotus employees, so you know its chassis is well sorted. It also has a hilariously loud dump valve that whooshes every time you lift off the throttle, and the intake's right by your head so acceleration is accompanied by an all-encompassing sucking sound. It's brilliant.

Not in Clarkson's world, though. "On the road, where I mostly drove it, the noise was fun for about a minute and then not fun at all," he says.

Check out the gallery for the rest of Clarkson's vehicular stinkers!
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