5 things to get Donald Trump for his birthday
Donald Trump has spent 70 glorious years on our planet, which means today is his birthday.
In case you were wondering how to pass on your own special wishes, we've put together a list of five birthday present ideas to consider.
1. A donation to Hillary Clinton
If there's one person Trump tweets about more than all others, it's fellow candidate Hillary Clinton. We can only assume he has a crush on her, or else why would he mention her day and night? In such circumstances, a donation to her campaign would be a suitable gift to celebrate his birthday.
2. A wig
Setting the controversy over whether Trump's hair is real or not aside, it's well known that the presidency ages you. If Trump succeeds to the White House as he plans, he's almost certain to need a wig over the coming months and years to maintain such fluffy wonder.
3. A cake
Everyone needs a cake on their birthday, and Trump is no exception. But if you don't quite feel up to baking for him, right-wing group Hindu Sena have already made Trump a three-tier cake and hosted a celebration in India's capital, New Delhi. The party invitation had "join us and let's celebrate the birthday of the saviour of humanity" written on it.
4. Sadiq Khan
It might be quite hard to physically give Trump Sadiq Khan, but they keep having arguments across the pond, and we think it would be fun to see what kind of trouble would happen if they actually met.
5. A one way ticket to Timbuktu
Not so we can get rid of him, who would ever suggest that? No, the ticket is needed so he has somewhere to house his massive intellect, obviously.