The office affair: what you need to know

Updated
man and woman having glass of...
man and woman having glass of...



Earlier this year, the world was greatly entertained by the story of Caroline Westlake and Kate Sanders, the meerkat keeper and monkey handler who clashed over the affections of llama expert Adam Davies.

The story only hit the headlines because of the unusual occupations of those involved. But research from jobs website Careerbuilder.co.uk indicates that as many as four in ten of us have had a fling with a co-worker at one time or another, with a quarter even dating their boss. Many of these relationships end up in marriage.

But an office romance can be a risky business. All too often, when the relationship breaks up, one person feels forced to quit - particularly when their ex is the boss. Sometimes - and even without broken glass being involved - one or both members of the couple is fired.

So what are your rights at work when it comes to an office romance?

Many companies now have a policy on office romances. It's a trend that started in the US and, there, love affairs at work are often banned outright. Alternatively, the two people involved may be asked to sign a specific contract confirming that the relationship's completely consensual, in order to avoid harassment claims down the line.

In the UK, such dating policies are on the rise. One in five UK companies now has one, with a further 25% considering it, according to jobsite Monster.co.uk. You may need to check, as there may well be a policy in place that you don't know about: according to Monster, 42% of employees are unaware whether their company has a dating policy or what it consists of.
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Here, though, they tend to be less draconian than in the US, generally requiring couples to speak to the relevant managers to make them aware of the situation, and prohibiting them from discussing confidential work information with one another.

Policies may also set out guidelines on how to handle staff appraisals, allocation of overtime, and approval of holiday requests, where one partner is in a superior role to the other.

If you do embark on an affair at work, it's important to consider the effects on your colleagues - the Monster research revealed that one in five people involved in an office romance felt it had created tensions with their co-workers.

Make sure you keep everything completely professional, and never be tempted to show affection - or, worse, argue - at work. Similarly, be careful about what you post on social media.

But the biggest problems start when the relationship breaks down, says Rebecca Ireland, a partner in the employment team with law firm Blake Morgan.

There can be allegations of unfair treatment or sexual harassment - or simply a situation where the employees just can't work together any more.

"Employers can help make it clear to employees where the boundaries of acceptable behaviour are by having an up-to-date code of conduct and equal opportunities and anti-harassment policies in place," she says.

"However, employers need to take care in implementing such policies as action taken against just one employee in the broken relationship could give rise to claims of sex discrimination."

Where there isn't a dating policy in place, employees may have to tread even more carefully. It's by no means unknown for one of the parties to lose their job, be forced out or be demoted when an office affair is revealed - usually, the more junior partner.

If this happens to you, you may well find you have a case for sexual discrimination, particularly if - as is so often the case - the person being forced out is female, and most senior managers in the company male.

Interestingly, though, two-thirds of individual managers don't actually have a problem with office romances as long as everything's kept professional at work, research from the Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM) has revealed.

"Our survey shows that workplace romances are inevitable and not as destructive on careers as people may fear," says ILM chief executive Charles Elvin.

"Employers may want to think twice before vetoing love at work, or they risk forcing staff to hide their relationships, creating a culture of secrecy and deceit."

Making an Office Romance Work
Making an Office Romance Work



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