Tory Party conference sells Labour-themed joke beers

Sarah Coles
Conservative Party annual conference 2014
Conservative Party annual conference 2014



Jokers at the Tory Party conference have once again run a bar featuring hilarious gags, poking fun at the Labour party. Highlights this year include Mililight beer "weak flavour, weak leader" and Ballsberg, "probably not the best economist in the world".

Other drink-related digs from the Tax & Spend bar (where staff wore Ed Miliband and Ed Balls masks) included Len's Lager, featuring a photo of Unite leader Len McCluskey and the slogan "100 per cent influence on Labour policies".

Snacks on offer, meanwhile, included Pring-Balls - crisps in tubes - with a picture of Ed Ball saying: "Once I start spending, I can't stop!"

Finally there were the pithy beer mats, featuring Labour quotes such as Miliband answering the question: "Do you accept that looking back the Labour government spent too much money?" with "No, I don't accept that," and Harriet Harman saying "People on middle incomes should contribute more through their taxes."

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Miliband Admits Forgetting the Deficit in Speech
Miliband Admits Forgetting the Deficit in Speech



Nothing new

This is a regular feature of the Conservative Party conference. Last year highlights included Miliband Ale 'Weaker than Brown' and Leftie Blond.

In 2010, the conference celebrated the Labour leadership spat with a bumper crop of gags, including David's Bitter (with a photo of David Miliband), while the sandwiches featured a flag of his face and 'Egg and Crest-fallen' filling. They also ran Red Ed's Diner - where customers were only ever given their second choice.

Even odder

It's not a bumper year for conference merchandise, however. That title probably goes to 2013, when the Conservative Party decided to commemorate the life of Margaret Thatcher with a gift shop of items devoted to her. They included 'Our Maggie' beer and mugs, an Iron Baby bib and baby-gro, and cufflinks where one read 'turn if you want to' and the other read 'the lady's not for turning'.

It's an odd bit of fun at the annual party shindig, but perhaps it could be much more. Perhaps this is the way they can resolve party funding questions: ranges of pun-based merchandise could stack the shelves and fill the coffers - without a single peerage changing hands.

There could the the Ed Davey range - after the Lib Dem minister's terrible joke about being 'fracking responsible' - which could be whipped up on T-shirts and mugs to cash in.

The 'Miliband Memory Method' could become a best-selling book, explaining how even Ed Miliband can be trained to remember to mention the deficit in his key conference speech.

Or after Rachel Reeves' attempt to wildly guess the level of the basic state pension, there could be a Reeves pension calculator - which rounds all sums to £100.

And there could also be the 'kiss and make-up' collection, variously branded with Brown and Blair, Vince Cable and Nick Clegg, or the Miliband brothers.

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