Best ever passenger complaint letter? Ryanair rant goes viral

A Ryanair passenger who was left furious after missing a flight has written an open letter to the customer service team complaining of the airline's staff with brains "full of girls and Vauxhall Corsas".

James Lockley's hilarious Facebook rant came after a "vacant" member of staff at Stansted Airport 'caused him and his wife to miss their flight to Bratislava'.

In the brilliantly written letter, James explains that "After 2 hours of fun, fun, fun, stuck on the M25 doing 20 mph" the couple arrived at the check-in desk where their nightmare began.

"We approached the attendant as instructed and explained. Unfortunately, in the main part, due to him being a child, and forgetting to bring his mother to work, he heard only half of the words before his brain fell apart like a wet cake.

"He led us to the line for closing gates, advised we should wait and all would be ok. We stood patiently in the line for 20 minutes.

"We got to the front of the line and the lady, who we shall from this point refer to a Vacant, explained that she had literally just that second closed the flight and we had missed it.

"We complained that we had done as instructed and she said it was the child's fault because he should have advised her that we were trying to board a closing flight and that because he hadn't told her it was therefore our fault we had missed the plane."

James used a series of nicknames for the staff he met, including "Vacant", "Not That Bright" and "Middle Gimp".

He and his wife were forces to queue up at the customer services counter.

James continued: "Middle Gimp had clearly listened hard at Ryanair Middle Gimp school as he managed to take two perfectly calm and sane adults and in a matter of seconds reduce them to angry people considering violence.

"'Check in opens 3 hours before the flight' he barked repeatedly as if it was the answer to every question in life. We tried to ask Middle Gimp direct questions about why it was necessary for us to miss the flight because the Child had forgotten to do his job, and Vacant had forgotten to do hers.

"'Why is this our fault, and why should we miss the flight because Ryan Air staff have admitted they made errors?'

"'Check in opens three hours before the flight'

"'Do you acknowledge we have just cause for complaint as we tried to do the right thing and the only reason we are not on the plane is because of communication failures with Ryan Air Staff?'

"'Check in opens three hours before the flight'

"'What colour are my trousers?'

"'Check in opens three hours before the flight'

"'Do you think economic sanctions on Russia will diffuse the escalating situation in Ukraine?'

"'Check in opens three hours before the flight'

"'Were Man Utd right to fire David Moyes?'

"'Check in opens three hours before the flight'

"'My tinkle is hurting, could you take a look if I promise not to tell anyone?'

"'Check in opens three hours before the flight.'

James' letter has been shared 65,000 times on Facebook. Read the full letter here

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