Wouldn't it be great if someone could take all the hassle out of making Christmas dinner? You could shop for the big day in seconds, cook the meal in moments, and enjoy it without having to leave your vital spot on the sofa playing computer games. Fortunately, at last, a computer games retailer has come up with the perfect answer - Christmas dinner in a tin.
And it's not the only bizarre culinary idea doing the rounds this Christmas.
Retailer Game claims to be responding to research which found that once dedicated computer gamers have ripped open a new game or console on Christmas Day, they don't want to stop for anything.
Clearly there's nothing more annoying than sitting down to eat with your nearest and dearest at Christmas, when there's Grant Theft Auto V waiting in the living room, so they came up with the Christmas Tinner - the Christmas dinner in a tin.
It's divided into nine layers, which make up your nutritional needs from dawn to dusk. The top is an egg and bacon breakfast, then comes mincemeat to replicate those mince-pies you need for elevenses.
The third layer is where Christmas lunch starts, with turkey, potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce and all the other festive favourites. Finally there's a layer of Christmas pudding. There are two versions - with and without sprouts - and it costs just £1.99.
Of course the Christmas gimmick is a vital tradition. And the fact the tins are only available at the Basingstoke store should be enough to tell us that this is a PR tool rather than a serious offering. But how does it compare in terms of culinary abominations available this year?
One hot contender for the strangest option around is the Pilgrims Choice festive offering. You can have your block of cheese with the added 'flavours of Christmas'. This includes flecks of sprouts and carrots - as well as dried fruit.
Tesco, meanwhile, has joined the festive party of weirdness with it's mince pie flavour crisps. And if that's not unusual enough for you, there are always the Pringles sweet cinnamon flavour - or their mint choc chip limited edition crisps.
And for those who struggle with Christmas dinner in a tin, there's always the Pot Noodle Christmas dinner - for those who like their festive fare to be freeze-dried and rehydrated.
Sadly, however, there's no sign of the Burger King festive Whopper. The Sprout Surprise Whopper with extra sprouts and cheese went on sale in the UK in 2010 for a limited time only - and has never been seen again.
Budget Christmas presents for family and friends
Christmas dinner...in a tin
Is your man the back-to-nature type? This firestick from Hunter Gatherer will mean he can dump the lighter. Just strike the blade down the firestick, and a shower of sparks will start his camp fire - with a bit of patience and the right kindling, that is. It costs £14 from Not On The High Street; and for another £16 you could add a chestnut roasting pan for a romantic evening by the fire.
From Not On The High Street comes this selection of four of the world's hottest chilli powders - including the current world champion, Scorpion Moruga. Each comes in a tiny corked glass bottle, all contained in a standard sized matchbox. The quantities may be tiny - but with this level of heat, that's all you'll need. £6.
So you can't stretch to a day at a luxury spa? Never mind. These pretty lights will turn bathtime into a real pampering experience. Attach the waterproof spa lights to the side of the bath, or simply float them on the surface; add bubble bath, put on some relaxing music - and ask if there's room for two. Spa lights £6.95 from Prezzybox.
Bath bombs can cost a fortune to buy, but they're cheap and very easy to make. Just mix together three parts sodium bicarbonate, one part each of citric acid and Epsom salts and a few drops of essential oil such as rose or lavender. Add a little almond oil drop by drop until the mixture is still a bit powdery but clumps together when squeezed. Use a plastic mould to shape your bombs. Or buy a kit - Bee Beautiful's includes everything needed to make a dozen bath bombs for £19.99.
It's too late to gather your own this year, but dried lavender is widely available online. And turning it into a scented sachet or even pillow couldn't be easier. Just sew a little bag from any scrap of pretty material - vintage handkerchiefs look stunning and don't need hemming - and pop the lavender inside. It's easy to personalise the bag with a little embroidery.
From just £10, Photobox will help you create a personalised calendar with a different happy memory for each month. Just upload a dozen family photos and some captions, and the company will get the finished calendar to you in as little as four days. There are plenty of different formats to choose from.
Even a simple wooden doll's house can cost well over £100 - and that's before you've bought the furniture and the dolls themselves. But this charming two-storey castle dolls house from Tesco comes with 5 pieces of furniture & the princess' vanity set two dolls, two sets of stairs and eleven pieces of furniture for just £36.99 - even less using Clubcard Boost.
Small boys everywhere love ice cream and space, so this Astronaut Ice Cream should go down a storm. Originally developed for the Apollo space missions, it's made by the same company that still supplies NASA. Freeze dried and vacuum packed, it comes in three flavours and literally melts in the mouth. It costs £5 from the Great Gift Company.
These plastic animal toys are perfect for the little ones this Christmas. They're very durable and perfect for encouraging mobility and learning with animals sounds and music included. The set costs £19.97.
Drawn your worst enemy in the Secret Santa? Here's how to put the boot in while maintaining the moral high ground. Oxfam's gifts of goats and sheep - which of course actually go to a worthy recipient in the developing world - have been very popular in recent years. But did you know the charity also offers £9 loads of manure for farmers? Just hand over the gift card to the recipient, and smirk.