Exclusive interview: Comedian Milton Jones chats cars
AOL Cars caught up with Milton to talk first cars, early driving memories and terrible motoring investments. Here's how we got on...
AOL Cars: How many attempts did it take you to pass your test?
Milton Jones: Second time lucky. Small matter of a seven-point turn first time round. Still, it could have been worse. I had a friend who failed for "inadequate use of the steering wheel".
AC: What was the first car you ever owned?
MJ: My uncle Jack gave me a shiny brown Peugeot 304 estate. There's nothing like the seats in a Peugeot.
AC: Very, ahem, nice but what was the first car you ever lusted after?
MJ: I think it was a lime green Maserati Bora. I had a small one for my Rockets track (a bit like Corgi Whizzwheels but not as expensive) but I'm glad I never bought one, as I didn't think it would have done the loop-the-loop I was hoping. Definitely think they should have made that part of the M25. Oh and I was only seven by the way.
AC: What did your Dad drive?
MJ: The first car I remember him driving was a big battleship grey Hillman Super Minx.
AC: Was it cool or embarrassing?
MJ: As cool as any car your parents pick you up from stuff in can be. Eventually when it died, Dad put it in the back garden for us to play with. But then it got a wasp's nest in it. Looking back, it was a glorious rhino of a beast. American angles on the coachwork, big bench seats and a boot you could put a Nissan Micra in.
AC: Can you remember the first proper road trip you ever went on?
MJ: Yeah, my grandparents lived in Belfast and we often drove up to Stranraer, stopping in the Lake District on the way. Service stations were a treat then, as we often just stopped in a lay-by and had warm chicken sandwiches out of Tupperware.
AC: Can you talk us through your current car collection?
MJ: I have a Type 2 VW campervan ('75) called Mother Teresa - 'cause she's blue and white and old. I've had it twenty years and been all over the place in it. It's like part of the family now. Also, I have an A-Class Mercedes for nipping about town. I don't like it much but it's never failed to turn over, nor let me down.
AC: What is the worst motoring investment you ever made?
MJ: I had a Renault Megane that hit 60k miles and then was one problem after another. French cars, eh?
AC: How about the best?
MJ: It has to be old Mother Teresa. She's managed to go up in value and thanks to having absolutely no electrics, nothing too serious can go wrong. Touch wood.
AC: What's the most audacious bit of amateur mechanics you ever undertook?
MJ: Changing a tyre. And that was a struggle.
AC: If money was no object, what car would you buy?
MJ: Some sort of ex-KGB limo. Then I'd offer friends lifts and speed off as if they'd just been kidnapped.
AC: Have you ever got a date just by driving a cool car?
MJ: Just for an MOT.
AC: Give us a quick rundown of your top driving playlist?
MJ: Just two albums on rotation in my vehicles and they are Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits and The Lion King album.
AC: Finally, what is your ultimate road trip? Where would you go and what in?
MJ: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, around the North Circular on a Friday night.
Milton Jones Live: On the Road DVD available now!