A new Japanese guide to visiting Scotland has warned tourists to avoid 'weird' Lorne sausages and to stay away from men in blue and green football shirts.
The Insider's Guide to Scotland, which is written in Japanese and sold in Edinburgh, also warns visitors never to call kilts 'skirts', or to call any Scottish people 'English', and to stay away from council estates.
Things it says Japanese visitors should do? Drink Irn Bru, eat Mackie's honeycomb ice-cream and ginger marmalade, get "merrily drunk" on Scottish whiskey, and use the word "aye", which actually translates as "love" in Japanese.
However, it does not give a brilliant impression of Scottish service, saying: "Please do not expect to have the same quick, polite and accurate service here to compare with Japanese service at shops, restaurants and hotels.
"Be patient anywhere in Scotland, it is not Japan."
The book also explains that not many Scottish people bother carrying umbrellas around - something that could confuse organised Japanese visitors.
According to the Metro, the guide said: "When it rains, it seems only a handful of people use umbrellas in Scotland. That puzzles Japanese quite a lot because in Japan people would carry umbrellas all the time or leave the spare ones at the office for sudden showers."
A VisitScotland spokesman told the BBC that the guide should be taken "with a pinch of salt", saying: "Scotland is ideally placed to capitalise on the Japanese market due to our fantastic tourism offering that we know is of huge interest with this market and a great relationship that has been built up over the years.
"The comments within the book should be taken with a pinch of salt and are probably indicative of the Scots sense of humour but clearly there's a wealth of information in the book that showcases Scotland at its very best."
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