Santa in drink driving, speeding horror
It's not often you can get the Institute of Advanced Motorists to comment on Santa getting the boot, but we have.
We asked the organisation to comment on a story in The Telegraph detailing Father Christmas' Christmas Eve in numbers.
The Telegraph calculated that Santa has to visit around 700,000,000 sleeping children in around 233,000,000 houses over a distance of 212,030,000 miles in a 32-hour stint.
Now, taking those numbers in to account 'ol Santa will have to travel at around 6,650,897.72mph. Which is way over the limit everywhere on planet earth bar a few stretches in Germany and the Mulsanne Straight.
Already he's broken several laws in regard to commercial driving. Forgetting the speed, a 32-hour stint behind the deer isn't going to be that good for you, as the IAM noted.
"It's a good thing Father Christmas is self-employed," one of their elves commented. "If a commercial driver tried this, he'd get the sack."
The other point raised was just how much Santa drinks. Each of the 233 million houses he visits will, traditionally, leave him a glass of sherry. With one 50ml portion of sherry being around one unit, he's going to be imbibing a fair bit. The numbers say he'll be around 50 million times over the drink drive limit.
But, let's remember - Santa isn't a commercial driver. Or even human. Our laws (legislated or physical) don't apply to him now, do they?
Source: The Telegraph