Video: Pensioner misses parking space, hits aisle four instead

This security video shows a woman on crutches diving for her life after an 86-year-old lady rips into a bicycle shop. That'll teach them cyclists, with their silly hats and tight shorts.

Actually, it wasn't a premeditated attack on cyclists, rather the confused action of a Cadillac-wielding pensioner. She'd confused the brake and the accelerator pedals while trying to park in a disabled bay. Easily done, s'pose.