Frankfurtsteins: the Frankfurt Motor Show's ugliest cars
Motor shows are all concept this, supercar that and Euro-mullet the other, but some of the most fun you can have is gazing upon the automotive freak show that they always provide.
Because posting a gallery entitled 'Frankfurt's most sensational Euro-mullets' was deemed out of our remit (and a bit cruel), we've decided to concentrate on the car side of things instead.
So here are six of our favourite Frankfurt mirror-breakers. Frankfurtsteins, if you will...
We've started with this one because it's not that ugly and we appreciate that some folk will think it's brill. It looks like a chubby van with a silly face though. And if you gaze at it straight on it appears to be laughing at you, but in an evil sort of way, as though it's plotting something devilishly fiendish. Spooky
World's first 'Super-SUV' from a brand new and exciting British car company, or quick Photoshop job on a Porsche Cayenne? You decide.
Either way, Eterniti's company launch in Frankfurt passed by with a bit of a whimper. It should have spoken to Lotus, who has a wealth of experience in organizing baffling celebrity-laden motor show bonanzas.
Eterniti's relative invisibility in Frankfurt could easily have been solved by, say, asking Darius Danesh to take the wraps off the car.
Cadillac Ciel Concept
While Chevrolet and Chrysler try really hard to stay relevant by making smaller, more efficient cars, Cadillac rolls into Frankfurt with this, the Ciel Concept.
Aside from being hideous from any angle, it's also so crudely massive that even Nelly (the rapper, not the elephant) would be too embarrassed to use it for 'flossing', or whatever it is hip-hoppists do in their videos.
It's a hybrid, but it's also got a 425bhp V6, so it's as environmentally prudent as a disposable nappy landfill.
The last Yo concept we heard about involved tiny plates of uncooked fish moving on a conveyor belt. At least that one was delicious.
This, on the other hand, is a concept car from Russia, whose electric doors slide backwards through the tailgate, posing a very real risk of cracking the poor person loading the boot in the head. In Soviet Russia, doors open you.
Mia electric microbus
The only redeeming feature of the Mia is that the driver sits in the middle, like in a McLaren F1. We're desperately trying to see it as cool in the same way the first generation Renault Twingo was, but it's a box with tracks down the side to facilitate its sliding doors, so we can't
Apparently, to keep it light it's got hardly any soundproofing (screw all this carbon fibre reinforced polymer nonsense) so even though it's electric, it's still noisier than Ozzy Osbourne's happy place.
We adore Mansory. No car company has ever been so single-minded in its disregard for taste and decency.
The Siracusa is based on the Ferrari 458 Italia, but we can only assume that Mansory's lawyers told the company that under no circumstances must it mention Ferrari in the same breath as this monstrosity. Not no way, not no how.
It's a shame it's so blindingly horrific, really, because it's actually a serious piece of kit, tuned to 582bhp and able (allegedly) to crack 62mph in 3.2 seconds.