Jim Davidson sarcasm earns him no fans in court
It's probably unfair to stereotype traffic cops and safety camera partnership employees as humourless drones going about their distasteful business with the impassiveness of storm troopers, but we'd imagine the people behind those penalty notices are a pretty tough crowd to warm up.
Especially via correspondence. And especially if your name is Jim Davidson.
Apparently when asked to provide the details of whoever was behind the wheel of his speeding Aston Martin, the alleged funny man told police: "I'm still making enquiries as to who was actually driving, but is it okay if I nominate someone I don't like?"
The stony-faced civil servants were so impressed with the razor-sharp quip that they asked to see Davidson perform his unique brand of stand-up live in Maidstone Magistrates' Court.
Clearly intent on further endearing himself to the authorities, the comedian opted to represent himself, and explained that he didn't know who was driving the rented DB9 Volante in September last year and he was worried about giving the police incorrect information.
The court rewarded that sense of civic duty with a guilty verdict on the charge of failing to provide information about the identity of the driver, and slapped Davidson with six penalty points to go with the six he'd already accrued.
Despite brilliantly pleading with the Magistrates that the resulting six month ban could ruin his show at the Rhyl Pavilion in north Wales the next day and disappoint dozens of loyal fans, they showed no mercy, and added a £1,000 fine and £750 court costs to the punishment.
Davidson wasn't about to go down without a fight though and had the whole thing suspended while he appeals the decision. Good luck with that, Jim.