Clarkson offered £1m to be the voice of adultery
Most celebrities end up on the receiving end of a proverbial tongue-lashing from the media - and probably their humiliated partner - when they're caught with their pants down but not the Top Gear presenter. Instead he's reportedly been offered £1 million to act as spokesman for the Ashley Madison dating site.
It's not difficult to work out what you're dealing with here but whether or not Clarkson is the right person to represent nigh on nine million 'discreet' members is a moot point.
A spokesperson (we assume it wasn't Jezza) for Ashley Madison told The Guardian: "What he has or hasn't allegedly done isn't important, he has made discreet adultery a major talking point."
Although it must be stressed that Clarkson and the lady in question are denying the alleged affair, we're not sure that being a 'major talking point' is entirely consistent with the concept of discretion.