Fabulous food, well-staffed hotels, a comfortable bed... These are things you'd think would make us happy on holiday. But they're all sources of holiday complaints for British holidaymakers, who just can't stop themselves moaning.
According to the customer service department of online travel agency sunshine.co.uk, these are just some of the strange causes for complaint from holidaymakers in 2010:
'The sand's too hot.' One holidaymaker was upset that the sand was so hot in Lanzarote that her children couldn't walk on it.
'The food tastes too nice' A man complained because he couldn't stop himself eating the all-inclusive buffet and put on five pounds.
'No one told us we needed our passports' This grumble came from two women who left their passports at home when arriving at the airport for a trip to Dubai.
'The women look too good in their bikinis' Let's all feel sorry for the poor guy who couldn't keep his eyes off the bikini-clad women in Majorca and consequently fell out with his wife.
'There are too many English people here' A couple on holiday in Turkey were annoyed that there were too many Brits people in Marmaris. And their own nationality? British.
'The bed's too comfy' A man holidaying in Portugal complained that he couldn't make the most of his time enjoying the resort because his bed was too comfortable and he constantly overslept.
'There's always someone at the reception desk' Normally hotel receptions are rapped for a lack of staff - but one group of young adults complained that they felt 'judged' by staff when they came in late and would have preferred an unmanned desk.
'The fake sunglasses are fake' A man who paid €4.50 for a pair of Prada shades, then complained that they were fakes.
'I'm under pressure to have sex' Noisy night-time antics in neighbouring hotel rooms are a common problem. But one man was upset that he felt 'pressured' to have sex with his wife in order to keep up with the Jones's in the room next door.
Silliest ever holiday complaints
Revealed: silliest holiday complaints (the sand's too hot, for one...)
'Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.'
'I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.'
'On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all.'
'We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.'
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel 'inadequate'.
'It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time - this should be banned.'
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. In fact, she had mistaken the 'do not disturb' sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
'The beach was too sandy.'
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
'We bought designer sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.'
'No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.'
'It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, but it only took the Americans three hours to get home.'
'I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.'
'The brochure stated: "No hairdressers at the accommodation". We’re trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying there?'
'There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.'
"My girlfriend kept me awake because she was snoring. Can I have a discount?"
'We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.'
'It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.'
'I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite.'
'My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.'
"My dog didn't enjoy his stay. Can I have a refund?"
'We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.'
"The hotel didn't have an ocean view." The hotel in question was in London, 80km from the nearest coastline.
"The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."
"Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."
"We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."
Think those are bad? Check out the silliest ever requests made by airline passengers... you'll be amazed at the ridiculous things we ask for!
Silliest ever passenger requests
Revealed: silliest holiday complaints (the sand's too hot, for one...)
Yes, according to a survey of Virgin Atlantic's cabin crew, this is the most frequent mad request they get... seems that a worrying number of us have a lot to learn when it comes to the basic science of aviation...
Speaking about their weirdest passenger requests to Cabincrew.com, one steward said a passenger was worried about Heathrow Airport being so close to Windsor Castle as the plane was coming into London and asked if cabin crew could arrange for the planes not to fly over the castle in the future in case the Queen found it a nuisance. What a thoughtful flyer!
One Virgin Atlantic crew member was asked by a very famous celebrity, who pressed their call bell, to fix their hair. The flight attendant agreed to the unusual request and headed back to the galley to get a hair brush, comb and small can of hairspray. When he returned armed with the hairdressing equipment, the star roared with laughter and explained it was the AIR they wanted fixed and pointed overhead! The poor steward turned on the air vent and crept back to the galley. Cringe...
Er, we're hoping the passenger was't serious about this request. Another passenger asked: "Please can the captain stop the turbulence?".
While flying into Nice in the South of France, one cheeky passenger asked a stewardess if the pilot could 'go a bit further down the coast so we can have a look at Monaco,' she told Cabincrew.com
We know they have some luxurious cabins but we would have liked to see the face of the flight attendant who was asked by a passenger where they could take a shower on a Virgin Atlantic flight.
A playroom, indeed. Sometimes, passengers appear to forget they're 30,000ft in the air.
Yes, someone really did ask a Virgin flight attendant this question.
A stewardess told Cabincrew.com that a traveller asked her: 'Why am I getting such a poor mobile phone signal? This flight is going to be really long and I’ll be bored if I can’t use my smart phone.' Oh dear!
One steward told flight attendants' forum Cabincrew.com that one cheeky passenger asked them to get his blanket. He said: 'I once got asked mid flight if I could nip down into the hold and get a passenger his blanket out of his suitcase. After a full description of the bag I then explained this wasn't possible, to which he insisted he was going to go instead.'
This request may have been understandable if it came from a three-year old. But it didn't. It came from a fully grown adult.
This strange request came from a passenger on another Virgin flight... we're still trying to find out if said object was ever found....
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Have you got a silly complaint? Or perhaps you've heard someone else moaning on holiday about something silly? Tell us your opinions and stories!
Outrageous celebrity hotel demands
Revealed: silliest holiday complaints (the sand's too hot, for one...)
If you thought carrying hand sanitizer kept your hands clean enough, you'll be shocked at the great lengths Justin Timberlake goes to keep germs away. When staying at a hotel, the singer reportedly insists someone goes around every two hours disinfecting doorknobs. What's more, he requires an entire floor to himself and his entourage and for the air conditioning filters to be changed upon his arrival. He also asks for a private fitness studio and a PlayStation.
As a megastar Barbra Streisand is entitled to a few diva demands, right? But wait 'til you read this. According to the Evening Standard, the singer, who has been in the entertainment industry for over 50 years, once demanded staff at The Dorchester in London not to talk to her unless specifically requested, asked hotel workers at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas to enter and leave her room backwards and requested "peach-coloured toilet roll to match her complexion, and rose petals in the toilet bowl" at The Castletown House.
No star can beat Madonna when it comes to outrageous hotel demands. In 2011, the singer reportedly insisted that her room at Berlin's Soho House be given a £15,000 makeover, which included a fresh coat of paint, new lights and a new bed - all for a one-night stay! Apparently Mads doesn't like sleeping in beds that other people have slept in. A source who worked at the hotel confessed to Perez Hilton: "We renovated the whole room. We have never had a request like this before." She also requested 500 bottles of Kabbalah water specially blessed by a rabbi for her, boyfriend Brahim Zaibat and her entourage.
The award for the most bizarre hotel demand goes to... Eminem. The rapper asks for nothing more than tin foil to cover the windows of his hotel room to keep out all the light and white noise playing through speakers so he can get a good night's rest. A source told The Sun: "The noise and darkness gets Eminem the best night’s sleep. He uses the technique as he’s always jumping time-zones."
When on tour, Katy Perry's quirky "hotel provisions" include accommodation at a five-star establishment, rooms to be on one floor with a presidential suite (presumably for Katy), five junior suites (with requests for upgrades) and 45 single rooms. Katy must have free internet and breakfast to commit to a booking and she has separate "hotel instructions" that are forwarded to the hotel upon confirmation and approval. Don't believe us? TheSmokingGun.com released her Hotel Provisions list.
In March 2013, Elton John reportedly asked for an entire hotel room just for his glasses while staying at the Ouro Minas in Belo Horizonte, Brazil. A hotel spokesperson said: "Elton John asked for an extra room in the hotel for some of his collection of glasses because he needs a temperature of 16C to preserve the accessories." Sir Elton didn't stop there. He also demanded a phone line and sports TV channels.
Mariah Carey certainly knows how to make an entrance at a hotel. In 2005, the singer reportedly celebrated her 35th birthday at the Baglioni Hotel in London, but before checking in she had to be driven around in her limo until the hotel had rolled out a red carpet lined with white candles so she could make her entrance. Luckily the hotel was happy to oblige as Mariah rented 15 rooms at a cost of £20,000 a night. The diva also reportedly arrived with 50 suitcases. We feel sorry for the bellhop who had to carry those!
After years of grovelling for the rich and famous, former hotel workers Abigail Hart and Nancy Joyce Callahan revealed all about the celebs and their demands in their tell-all book Great Reservations. In it they told of how for a mere 12-hour stay at the Four Seasons Hotel Chicago, Nicole Kidman's assistants shipped a set of pink 800 thread-count Italian sheets to the hotel ahead of her visit, along with diagrams and pages of instructions on how to make the bed. Kidman, who was married to Tom Cruise at the time, never actually showed up!
Apparently Rod Stewart hates the light coming into his room so much that he has a "darkening team" to scout hotel rooms ahead of time, making sure no light comes in and he can enjoy his afternoon nap in complete darkness. Avid football fan Rod also reportedly needs thirteen footballs to kick about his suite.
When Victoria Beckham checked in to the ultra-chic Hempel Hotel in London in 2006, she reportedly handed staff a formidable list of requirements. According to the Evening Standard, the hotel spent a whopping £20,000 in an effort to make Posh happy, satisfying her need for £350 of cakes from a local patisserie, £1,000 of Jo Malone bath scents, ultra-thick towels and extra dressing gowns. During her two-day stay with husband David, Victoria's suite was decorated with £5,000 of orchids, six silver platters of fresh tropical fruit and lit with 60 candles. Unfortunately she wasn't happy with the Ruinart champagne her hotel room was stocked with and insisted on Cristal!
You know a celeb is a diva when they demand public hotel spaces all for themselves. Actress Kirsten Dunst reportedly shocked guests at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont in 2012 when all of the lifts were blocked so she could use them. A source told the New York Post that no-one was allowed to enter the lifts because "Kirsten was going up and down" and guests were redirected to take the stairs.
You could call Jessica Simpson a 'domestic diva' as the singer reportedly requested an oven from the Ritz-Carlton Central Park in New York when she was staying with fiancé Eric Johnson in 2010 and hosted Thanksgiving for his family - who are vegans. A source told People that Simpson had to get creative in the hotel cooking turkey and vegan dishes. "They had an oven brought into her suite," they revealed. "She also used the hotel kitchen." Jessica apparently stayed in the Royal or Central Park Suite as those are the only ones that come with a dining room table for eight people, and at over £2,000 a night, an oven doesn't sound that big a request!
In true diva style, Britney Spears sent several requests to London's Dorchester where she reportedly stayed during her 2009 tour. Britney's demands included a hotel room which has never been smoked in, 100 watt light bulbs, Marilyn Monroe DVDs and humidifiers in every room. She also asked for fresh flowers that she could arrange herself, celebrity magazines and women's novels. A source told the Daily Star: "She'll be bringing all her own pillows for ultra-comfort and her security will sleep outside her suite every night." Britney also requested tickets for West End theatre shows, as well as a place to horse ride and a map of nearby running routes.
Finally - a hotel that stands up to demanding celebs! Tom Cruise insisted that the Forza Mare hotel in Montenegro chuck out all of its guests so he could dine in private when he tried to book an executive suite at the boutique hotel in 2012. But his demand was rejected by the "outraged" manager at the 10-room hotel and a source told The Sun: "Who does Mr Cruise think he is? The hotel was full. It would have been unfair to other guests." Tom still tucked into his meal and got the hotel to deliver a seafood banquet to the luxury yacht he turned up in.
Before checking in to the five-star Dorchester in London in 2007, Jennifer Lopez made sure she sent the hotel a detailed two-page list of everything she needed to make her two-day stay perfect. A source told the Daily Mail that the singer and actress, who once played the role of a hotel maid in film Maid in Manhattan, asked for lilies or red or white roses, plus Jo Malone Grapefruit and Lime Blossom candles, plain M&M'S and cookies. J-Lo's list also included a microwave, coffee maker, toaster and an oven - surely the diva wasn't planning on using those herself?