It turns out life in football isn't all glitz and glamour after all. That much became clear when Jose Mourinho revealed he'd been living in a hotel in Manchester since he started working at Manchester United.
The Special One, who suffered a 4-0 loss at former side Chelsea last weekend, told Sky Sports: "For me it's a bit of a disaster because I want sometimes to walk a little bit and I can't.
"I just want to cross the bridge and go for a restaurant. I can't, so it is really bad."
Reportedly staying in the Manchester Lowry's top-floor suite, Mourinho is currently living the life of Alan Partridge at the Linton Travel Tavern in series one of I'm Alan Partridge.
And Jose, if Alan could make it work while earning a pittance at Radio Norwich, you can make it work on a Manchester United manager's salary.
1. Let's start with the desk staff. These are your family Jose, the people you'll come home to every day. Be cordial, say hello, and get comfortable. Although maybe not THIS comfortable.
2. Maybe regale them with tales from the training ground. STRIKER.
3. Make an entrance at breakfast. You're probably the most interesting person there, so be chatty.
4. If you've had a bad day at work, don't bring that negative energy back to the hotel restaurant. The waiters will notice.
5. Get the hotel manager to give you a guided tour of the building. Test all the furniture out for sick modifications, like this.
6. Make friends. You'll probably meet people around the place, and there might even be a couple of people staying for long periods. Don't be overly friendly though, or you'll never get another series on the BBC.
7. Watch a film. Netflix wasn't around during Partridge's stint at the Linton Travel Tavern, but you have the benefit of box sets and films on demand - a valuable resource.
8. But don't get too stressed out over them.
9. And hey, if you've run out of films and your hotel friends are all out, there's always the air bass guitar - doesn't even need to be plugged in.
10. If Partridge is anything to go by, Jose, you get a book deal and a feature film in a decade or so. Cashback.