The fake work excuses - that turn out to be true

Happy newborn baby making a funny face.

We've all heard the stories, from the fake doctor's appointment to the dead grandmother: the lies people use to get out of a day's work.

An awful lot of us do it, with a fifth of parents calling in sick for lack of childcare during the six week summer holiday, according to the Family and Childcare Trust.

Bosses know this, and are generally canny at working out when staff are pulling a sickie, and when they genuinely have a good excuse. But they sometimes get it badly wrong, as these examples from Reddit show...

Spawning fish
"'Hey I can't come to work today. My fish is giving birth.' Turns out that fish is extinct in the wild so they're worth quite a bit of money. And they eat their babies if they're left in the tank with them. No wonder they're extinct in the wild."

Sheer stupidity
"Guy said he fell off his bed and had internal bleeding. Turns out he was drunk and trying to change a light bulb, so he put a step ladder on his mattress and tried to use that to reach the light."

"Woman called in to say she wouldn't be able to work that week. She said 'the police had found her sister's head'. She had to go identify it. Her sister had gone missing months prior. I don't question employees much anymore after that turned out to be true."

See also: Calling in sick: the worst excuses

See also:How to pull a sickie

"Her family had been kidnapped and held for ransom. That being in Nigeria made it a possibility, and was later confirmed by police statements. They were released eventually after three days, unharmed as I was told. And without a ransom when they realised that a bank employee is not equivalent to a walking ATM."

Unconventional family
"Guy used the excuse that his grandmother died. It was the third time in six months that he used the excuse. When we were getting ready to let him go another manager brought up the fact that he had met all three grandmothers, two were lesbians, earlier in the year."

A gunfight
"I actually gave the excuse. Guy was shot next door, he then drove his car past my house and crashed into my other neighbors tree and then he died from the gunshot wound. The whole street was blocked off because it was a crime scene, my car was right in the middle of it."

An unexpected baby
"'I had a baby on the side of the road...' She was pregnant and didn't know it apparently. It was a healthy baby girl."

A punch-up
"My tiny skinny coworker: 'I can't come in today, a group of guys tried to assault me and I sent two of them to the hospital. I have to file a police report.' I didn't believe until she actually got sued for excessive use of force. Apparently she was black belt in a couple of martial arts."

Treacherous cats
"A coworker said her cat hid her car keys. About a week later I caught one of my cats carrying my car keys around the house."

Funniest late airport arrival excuses
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Funniest late airport arrival excuses
A woman flying from Heathrow to the Dominican Republic almost missed her flight and claimed that her car had broken down and she’d had to abandon it on the hard shoulder of the M4 and walk "miles and miles" with her luggage to make it in time.
A man flying from Exeter to Prague blamed his lateness on his wife, because he claimed that she had packed and repacked their suitcases seven times before accepting the fact that they hadn’t forgotten to bring anything.

A woman flying from Luton Airport to Egypt said that her reason for almost missing the flight was because she couldn’t decide whether it was best to fly wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a skirt and vest top or a comfortable tracksuit. She settled in the end for a beach dress and flip flops.  

A man flying from Manchester Airport to Italy claimed that his lateness was due to the fact he’d had to make sure he had fed all 17 of his cats, all five of his dogs and his two budgies, and needed to give his neighbour all the instructions to do with the care of his pets while he’d be away.
A woman flying to Brazil from Heathrow Airport only just made it onto her flight. She explained that she had put her watch back two hours ready for her arrival in Brazil and the right time zone. However, she needed to check in two hours before, so she only just made it; not remembering her watch was two hours behind of the actual time in the UK.
A woman flying from Bristol to Gran Canaria told airport staff she was late for her flight because, while getting ready to leave the house, she’d been watching The Lion King on DVD for the first time and had to find out how it ended (even though she knew she'd then be running late).
A man was flying from Gatwick to New York and only just made his flight, claiming that he’d been unable to get off the toilet after having suspected food poisoning and an upset stomach from the 'substandard food' he’d consumed in the terminal.
A woman flying from East Midlands airport to Tenerife and almost missed her flight. She claimed that she hadn’t been with her boyfriend all that long, who was travelling with her, and that they’d had to pull into a lay-by on the drive to the airport to 'get intimate'.
A man flying to Majorca from Birmingham claimed that he had almost missed his flight because he had got drunk in a bar in the airport and fallen asleep on his stool, but that he’d miraculously sobered up during his 20-minute nap and was fit to fly.
A man flying from Cardiff Airport to Tunisia said that he was made late by the fact he thought his flight was the next day, but luckily his Mum had called to remind him that he needed to go and meet his friends at the airport.

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