Britain's 10 weirdest occupations

Bored at work? Why not try life as a zombie or a fake mourner?

Updated: 

Little Girl Zombie Portrait

The thousands of children who are busy dreaming of becoming footballers and police officers are missing a trick: there are some far more weird and wonderful jobs out there that they could aspire to. A new survey has revealed some of the strangest, but we've dug a little deeper to uncover the ten weirdest jobs around.

Do any of them appeal?


1. Chicken sexer
GoCompare trawled through the occupations people listed on car insurance searches and highlighted their ten strangest. Number five on their list was chicken sexer - who identifies the gender of a chicken. It seems as though sexers are specialists on a production line - because elsewhere on the list was a chicken chaser - who catches the chickens before they are sexed.

2. Fake bank robber
These are known in the trade as 'penetration testers' and banks pay them to try to beat their security systems. Some of the work is high tech, but a great deal of it involves putting on fancy dress and strolling in through the front door. Apparently firefighters and pest controllers are most likely to be able to get into offices easily - where they can install keyloggers to record keystrokes and wireless devices to enable them to hack into the network.

3. Zombie
There's a surprising demand for people to dress up and pretend to be zombies. There are zombie experiences, where people pay to battle zombies. Then there are tourist attractions like the London Dungeons which needs a steady supply of scares. As one person advertising for zombies in 2012 said: "Why settle for a dead end job, when you can apply for an undead end job instead?"

4. Kissagram
This made it to number seven on the GoCompare list, and is a job once held by UKIP Councillor Alan Graves - who paid his way through college by dressing up as Tarzan.

5. Fake mourner
Rent-a-mourner businesses have been around for years, and last year the first UK one opened. The idea is that you can avoid the awkwardness of no-one showing up at your funeral by bringing in some fakes. For a fee they will learn about your life, come up with a convincing story as to how they knew you, and they'll even cry.

6. Dendrochronologist
This was placed at number 10 by GoCompare and is a person who dates trees by reading tree rings. You might wonder why anyone would need to do this, but it's essential in working out how old a building might be (by taking samples of timbers), and working out whether a tree is of particular importance and needs to be protected because of its age.

7. Vermiculturist (Worm farmer)
Worms are in high demand from gardeners - to break down waste and produce castings which can be used as a natural fertiliser. Some keep worm compost bins in the garden, which they add compost to and get fertiliser out of. For every bin they need a good supply of worms - and that's where your vermiculturalist comes in.

8. Laughter therapist
Apparently when you laugh your body produces endorphins, which help relax you and combat stress. It doesn't even have to be a real laugh: a fake laugh will do. A laughter therapist holds individual or group sessions where they get people warmed up with a few fake laughs, and then do various activities designed to encourage real laughs too.

9. Professional Whistler
Everyone has their talents, and if yours is whistling then you could join the handful of professionals out there who do nothing else. There's even an International Whistlers Convention held in the US - where they name a Whistling Entertainer of the Year.

10. Cheese sprayer
To be honest this probably isn't as much fun as it sounds. They are needed to look after equipment that sprays things with cheese - like crisps or popcorn - and you'll probably spend a good deal of your time dealing with cheese blockages.

The GoCompare jobs that didn't make our list:
Chicken chaser: A chicken chaser catches chickens in a farm for sexing
French polisher: French polishing is a specific type of wood polishing for furniture
Head lad: A head lad is responsible for, amongst others things, the breaking in of horses in stables
Pig man: Surprisingly not a terrible superhero, a pig man is someone who feeds and rears pigs and boars for consumption
Bacon curer: Arguably the best job in the world. Oversees the curing of bacon for optimum tastiness
Post card seller: A person that specialises specifically in the sale of post cards
Pearl stringer: Literally strings pearls for necklaces

The UK's top ten dream jobs

The UK's top ten dream jobs