This unknown man has been caught on CCTV defecating outside a shop in Dublin.
Much to the dismay of Alan Buckley, who owns "Clever Buys" in Finglas, north Dublin, this is not a one-off offence. The phantom pooer was first spotted on September 15, and came back for round two on September 21.
"I haven't a clue why anyone would do this," he said. Buckley observed: "You'd swear a horse did it". Pretty gross.
"I couldn't understand it. There's no-one wipes their dog's arse. And it was humongous. And the smell of it. It nearly made me sick."
Mr Buckley said his security camera recorded a car pulling up in front of the row of shops before dawn on each occasion and a person getting out and opening the boot and spending a short time at the rear of the vehicle.
"I wouldn't mind but we're the cheapest around for toilet roll. We do 40 rolls of toilet paper for a tenner. We're famous for toilet rolls," he said.
Buckley insists that he hasn't fallen out with any customers, and has tried to make fun out of the incident by placing a toilet outside of his shop with the message: "We go that extra mile for our customers. Other shops couldn't give a shit." A pretty unsubtle hint for the offender should he return.
From now on we're calling it the curious incident of the poo in the night.