A man who e-mailed all 92 Football League clubs in England asking why he should support them could not have expected the reply he got from Everton.
A total of 10 clubs responded to the request - from reddit user Spacemaster Tom - and while it's fair to say some of their attempts to woo him were half-hearted - that could not be said for Everton.
The Toffees launched into an unlikely set of reasons as to why the wannabe fan should support them, including the fact they were the first club to have undersoil heating and, wait for it, the first club to have a church attached to their stadium.
They were just a couple of 31 "firsts" that the club boasted about, in the apparently automated reply, that included impressive feats such as becoming the first club to play 100 top-flight seasons, but also the fact it was the "first club to have its own podcast" and a scoreboard with a "half time/full time facility".
The e-mail begins its pitch as it means to go one, stating: "Everton......The best team in the world. Evertonians are born not made."
It then adds: "There's more to Everton than the trophies in the cabinet; the Toffees have been constant innovators in the footballing world, ceaselessly striving to be the best, and the first to accomplish new feats, while establishing new norms. The Nil Satis Nisi Optimum ("Nothing but the best is good enough") motto could not be more appropriate.
"From becoming one of the founder members of the football league in 1888, right through to present day when we announced a new service which allows fans to purchase match tickets through text message. Everton have always been at the forefront of new ideas."
Perhaps surprisingly, Everton were one of seven Premier League clubs to reply to the message, which just goes to show the teams at the top might not be so out of touch with the real world.
Manchester United were the first club to respond - followed by Everton - and there was no hard sell from a club that could have rightly pointed out they've got just about the most box-office managerial presence in the world on board this season in Jose Mourinho.
Instead they went for a lighter touch in the e-mail, which was signed off by "Julie", stating: "Who you decide to support in terms of football is always a very subjective matter - we are very proud of our clubs heritage and history and aim to be the best football club on and off the pitch.
"We have supporters based throughout the world and would be delighted if you decided to support this great club."
The other Premier League clubs to reply, in order, were Chelsea, Southampton, Stoke, Arsenal and Crystal Palace. From the lower leagues, Championship club Ipswich and League Two duo Cambridge and Barnet also took time out to reply.
Ipswich's response was the most succinct of any team.
"Thank you for your email. It is good to know that you follow English Football. If you would like to follow Ipswich Town you can do so by clicking http://www.itfc.co.uk. Kind regards. Janet - Receptionist."
It was enough to win over Spacemaster Tom, who wrote after the post: "Needless to say I'm an Ipswich fan now".
Janet from reception could be getting a raise.
Elswehere, Southampton and Chelsea both suggested that the fan should look at every club and make up his mind while a personalised response from "Euan" at Palace suggested the Eagles' "counter-attacking style of football" and the "infectious" atmosphere at Selhurst Park were adequate reasons to jump on board.
Euan added: "From a personal point of view I chose Crystal Palace as my Premier League club after moving to London from Scotland a couple of years ago, and hopefully you will decide to do the same!"
Arsenal's response was a bit more serious.
"Arsenal's Mission Statement projects the club's intention to be the standard against which others are measured in order to maintain the highest level of integrity and to ultimately be revered in world football, the most honourable," it read.
"This is achievable through a determination to make accessible to all; quality of service, value for money, innovation and trust, with the ultimate goal to satisfy the member / supporter on and off the pitch; give them the ultimate 'Fan Experience'."
Cambridge had a nice touch, linking to this video of the club and the picturesque city.
No mention of any undersoil heating though lads!