Victoria Wood's funniest jokes


Victoria Wood has died at the age of 62 after battling cancer.

Here are some of the comedian's most popular one-liners:

:: I thought Coq au Vin was love in a lorry.

:: My children won't even eat chips because some know-all bastard at school told them a potato was a vegetable.

Victoria Wood receiving her CBE

:: In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.

:: I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped but I've been driving that Peugeot for years.

:: My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.

Victoria Wood with Paul Hollywood

:: Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

:: Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

Victoria Wood pictured in 2007

:: Sexual harassment at work - is it a problem for the self-employed?

:: People think I hate sex. I don't. I just don't like things that stop you seeing the television properly.