Which Pokemon should Premier League clubs be buying?


It's that time of year when Premier League clubs are roaming around desperately trying to find the best players for improving their squads this season.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world is doing pretty much the same, except they're trying to find Pokemon instead of top class footballers.

Maybe the football teams should just give up and sign Pokemon instead...

Liverpool - Squirtle

After the best part of a decade at the club, Martin Skrtel has packed his bags and headed off the Turkey. It seems almost unthinkable to see a Liverpool teamsheet without Skrtel on it. They should probably just replace it with Squirtle and hope nobody notices.

Arsenal - Rattata

Remember when Arsenal bid £40,000,001 for Luis Suarez? Who knows how different the Premier League would have been these past few seasons if they'd succeeded. In some ways, Arsenal never really recovered from that. Obviously they have no chance of bagging the Barcelona striker, so perhaps now's the time to admit defeat and sign Rattata. He's got none of the striking ability, but is similarly prone to biting.

Leicester - Farfetch'd

Let's be honest, there surely can't be anything about this season that will be quite as far fetched as what happened last time around. One simple solution to that: sign Farfetch'd.

West Brom - Slowpoke

Managers often like to fashion a team in their own image. And if there's one thing Tony Pulis is more famous for than his love of a baseball cap, it's the oft-repeated claim the he once headbutted James Beattie naked while coming out of the shower. Also a fan of headbutting while wearing no clothes is Slowpoke. You'd also have to imagine his lack of speed wouldn't overly bother Pulis - he more than makes up for it in bulk.

Hull - Alakazam

After scraping up through the play-offs, Hull are going to need a bit of magic to survive in the Premier League, so the powerful Alakazam seems like the obvious choice.

Everyone - Ponyta

Every team could do with a Will Grigg, but unfortunately there's only one. And that's nowhere near enough to go round. Supplies of Pokemons tend to be more plentiful than supplies of Wigan and Northern Ireland strikers, so if other teams want a player who's on fire, Ponyta seems like a great option. They could try Moltres, but that one's almost as rare as a Will Grigg.