It's the height of (sort of) summer and despite the intermittent showers, barbecue season is in full swing. However, the biggest black cloud plaguing our collective social calendar is the thought of endless Brexit-related conversations that seem to crop up at every turn. Either you voted Remain and you're still in mourning or you voted Leave and you can't wait for everyone to stop yacking on about it.
People are still very cross on both sides of the camp, and unless you want your civilised barbecue to descend into burger-throwing warfare, we suggest you skirt around the topic of Brexit altogether. After all, aren't we all a little sick of it? Here are seven other important topics of conversation you and your guests should pick over instead.
1. The monumentally crap weather
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It is JULY. What happened to all those predictions of a long, hot summer worth cancelling your flights to Spain for? A great Brexit-free topic to start with, if your barbecue plans haven't already been rained off.
2. Who is going to be the next England manager?
As Roy Hodgson has thrown in the towel, talk of whom will become the next England manager is rife. Gary Neville? Brendan Rodgers? Alan Pardew?
If a mere whiff of football conversation is enough to send you into a boredom coma, please see the next point.
Is Famous Woman dating Famous Man just weeks after breaking up with other Famous Man? You might not THINK you care, but wait until you hear the latest conspiracy theory doing the rounds on the internet; Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are not actually together. Let's examine the evidence: The suspiciously well-posed "paparazzi" photos; the Instagram shots that simply cannot have been taken by an amateur on a bashed up iPhone; the fact they both met the other half's parents just weeks after hooking up... all sounds suspiciously like a publicity stunt. That's not all - some people think that every one of her high-profile relationships are staged and that Tay-Tay's boyfriends are all actually gay, while she's in a secret relationship with Karlie Kloss. Drop that bombshell and prepare for an evening of Brexit-free debate.
4. Are barbecues actually going to kill us all?
5. Louis Tomlinson's potentially fake baby
If you haven't read into the extensive conspiracy theory that Louis Tomlinson's baby is fake, you haven't lived. Conflicting dates of birth, a baby who looks suspiciously like a doll and disputes over a birth certificate, there are some very compelling arguments that the baby is in fact just an elaborate publicity stunt. Hours of high-brow discussion guaranteed.
6. Why has everyone gone on holiday to Bali this year?
Was there a "Bali is the place to be this year" memo that we missed? If your Instagram feed is anything to go by, there has been a mass summer exodus to Bali this year and we're not entirely sure why. Is anyone really that keen on smoothie bowls and rice fields? A great topic to discuss with friends, if all your friends haven't already deserted you and gone to Bali.
7. Fergie's completely nuts new music video
Fergie (you know, the one who used to be in the Black Eyed Peas but then she went solo released a song called London Bridge but in fact featured Tower Bridge in the video) put out a completely baffling music video for her new single M.I.L.F. $ earlier this week. Kim Kardashian, Chrissy Teigen, Alessandra Ambrosio and Ciara breastfeed babies, bathe themselves in milk and terrify the milkman. There are SO many topics of discussion to pick over here; is MILF-ing empowering, like this lady claims? Or should we frown on the lack of diversity from Fergie's ultra-polished mom squad, like this woman argues? And for the love of god, will someone PLEASE confirm whether or not that was real milk? We need to know. Click here to see the (seriously NSFW) video in all its glory.